Why a whelk...

I know I've been saying this for ages, : JACK IS SO DEAD.

It's called the Immortality Gate, ffs.


ANYWAY: Contrary to what those crazy mousies at who_anon think, I am keeping calm about the PDF. I have no desire to blow up over it, it's Christmas. I will be saying one or two things about it soon, but not right now, I've got turkeys to baste.

Torchwood Series Four. Starring Eve Myles. No Jack.

Stop doubting my powers, y'all, I'm serious. I give it two weeks, tops, before we get the announcement.

rivier posted some scans from Torchwood magazine, and I'm reposting two here. And then I shall be whinging and complaining about RTD. And for once it shall have NOTHING whatsoever to do with Jack/Ianto. Though there is another picture of Ianto with a gun. I can't resist those. Oh, and a gratuitous arse shot.

ONWARDS!
( MASSIVE TORCHWOOD SPOILERS WITHIN, courtesy of Torchwood magazine. )

Random:

• I wasn't ever really serious, initially anyway, but eventually I did actually briefly find myself pondering the morals of creating a sock to infiltrate what's-her-face's friendslocked Torchwood photoshoppery. I came to the conclusion that while I believe it's no more morally wrong to do such a thing than it is to paste real life actors' faces onto gay porn stills, the balance was swayed against doing it because a)it would involve me actually putting in some effort into searching out pornographic photomanips, and I despise photomanips, especially pornographic ones, so that didn't really make any logical sense to me and b)I couldn't really work out what I'd do with them once I got there because obviously they're f-locked and all I could really do would be to laugh at them on my own, or repost them here, which would be a wanky thing to do and of course c)thankfully, used_songs sent me a bunch of links to some freely available doozies. Of which more laters.


• Everyone's moving to Dreamwidth now? I have no idea why people are doing this, a few people on my flist seem to be involved with the thing, but nobody seems to have ever really taken the time to adequately explain to anyone what the point to the whole thing is, and so the whole Dreamwidth experience feels like some huge meeting that I somehow managed entirely to miss. Rather like Twitter. Having said that, does anyone have a Dreamwidth code going spare that they could PM me? Also, I tried to set up a main account there, just so I could pretend to play with the cool kids, but my PSP just shows a bunch of empty boxes with no clue as to what they're for, so I don't know how to import my LJ into it, nor do I think I can be bothered to find out, I'm busy enough as it is without having to sit behind my laptop and actually do computer things. But anyway, I'd like another code if there is one because I'd like to set up a secondary account as well, just to stake my claim and that. Not that it really matters. Can you sense my ennui filtering through in this post yet? Yeah, that's basically how I feel about life at the moment.


• As you've probably noticed, I've dropped out of TW fandom pretty much lately, not because I hate it, but the wait for S3 is really getting on my nerves and frankly I have nothing more to say on the subject of that cracky show until I've seen something new. And I'm too busy watching and ENJOYING Dollhouse (yeah, so sue me, I like it) and, embarrassingly, kind of obsessing a little bit about watching The Big Bang Theory and maybe actually shipping Sheldon/Penny. Shenny? Pendon? I don't know, I don't move in those circles, as much as I might be tempted to. While we wait, though... ( Moar TW spoilers? )


• Anyway, back on the topic of naked men.( SHIELD YOUR EYES! )

That's it from me. Move along.

Random questions that have been on my mind lately:

• Why do fanfic writers write to prompts and challenges and such? If you need a prompt, isn't that already a basic signal that there's something up with your creative juices? (I'm not being shitty here, I genuinely want to know why people do this.) Also, am I the only person who more or less assumes, upon reading the words "prompt table" that a fic will be on the mediocre-to-shite end of the spectrum? Also, why do people throw "plot bunnies" at each other? If you couldn't write it yourself, isn't that more or less a hint that the idea, in and of itself, doesn't have legs? And why are they called "plot bunnies" and am I the only peron who reads those two words and wants to kill?


• Who are the Jantomafia? Where do they hang out? I hear talk of them a lot. Are they like the Barrowmafia? I mean, I know I've met one or two people who are quite vehemently pro-Jack/Ianto (I can't even bring myself to write the smooshphrase more than once), but would those people automatically be in said mafia? Or is there like a membership thing? Am I on their shitlist for saying I think it would be a logical progression for the characters and make for more interesting telvision if they split up? Do they even have a shitlist? No, seriously, where do they hang out?


• ( Spoiler for Torchwood? )


• Part of me kind of likes theemptywriter, first of all because I think it's good that people get all this anti-Moffat sentiment out now, years before his episodes hit the screen, and I know the whole thing will run out of steam by then. Secondly because I love watching five people constantly telling each other how right they are to hate someone for no real reason. And also because they're all twelve. And love Rose. There's something really cute about them that makes me want to pinch their cheeks and punch them in the face in equal measure.


• I want to pimp ninja_teaboy around the houses again, but I don't really have a legitimate reason for doing so. I'd issue a fic challenge if it weren't for point one up there. And, really, I'm wondering if perhaps less is more when it comes to membership. But on the other hand, I've read some good stuff that I'd love people to post there, but I've been too busy to comment and say "Hey! Bring this over to my pool, I like it." Am torn. Need quality input. Have no idea how to achieve it. Grrr.


• Shitty photomanips are shitty. Maybe I should take up making them myself? Just for luls? If I did, would people come into my journal and go "Whew! Hawt!!!" Because otherwise I'm not doing it.

Recent realisations:

• I don't watch Merlin because I think all the men are fuck ugly, and yes, I am that shallow. I need something to look at, at least.


• On that note, I have no idea why I watch Survivors, which is depressing and horrid. Though Freema dying right at the beginning cheered me up a bit, I thought she was going to be in all of it. In fact, the fact that she isn't in it may well be the reason I am still watching, just out of sheer surprise. (Having said that, I think I could possibly grow to find Paterson Joseph slightly... hot? I'm certainly not frowning on all the Whovian gossip at the moment.)


• The reason I bitch about John Barrowman so much is because if I see one more soft-focus icon of the guy I am going to hurl my guts up. No man, no matter how gay, should be allowed to have his picture taken in that manner. Stills from that music video count double in this respect. It's like he said "Do me like Maddie in Moonlighting, can we do that? That would be super." Sweet airbrushed baby Jesus.

Random predictions:

• I think we're not hearing who the new Doctor is, unlike back when Eccleston left and we heard within a week, because we will find out in the Christmas episode who the new Doctor is. I'm not saying it's necessarily Morrissey because it more than likely isn't, but I reckon we'll know by the end of the episode. They're certainly not going to tell us between now and Christmas.


• Torchwood filming has apparently wrapped, with no outside action having taken place for about 6 weeks. ( Spoilery speculation... )

I've got a few random predictions floating around my head, so I thought I'd spew them out here for posterity. They're based on absolutely nothing, apart from vague gut feelings.

• Moffat's Who will have TWO companions. Boy/girl. Mainly because Moffat can't resist being a bit different and can't help injecting a bit of sitcom-esque bitching and UST into the TARDIS, which, having logically taken the Doctor-has-a-penis thing to its zenith, would have to involve two other people. Moffat's great strength is writing for multiple characters, he needs various personalities to bounce around and I am nearly 100% certain about this prediction.


• The girl will be a Sally Sparrow-esque capable mix of clever and ballsy and cute, I wouldn't actually rule out Sally Sparrow herself, just because Moffat's a joker like that. The boy will be Ianto. Okay, so that last bit's about 80% wishful thinking, but I'm not ruling it out completely because I'm just... not.


• Jack will leave Torchwood at the end of TW series 3. This ties in with my prediction that Jack and Ianto will split up during series 3, but possibly for reasons you're not expecting. John is actually leaving Torchwood behind, but I have a hunch he features in one of the three Who specials, as I believe Jack's story will be tied up BEFORE the eventual regeneration. I don't believe Jack will ever interact with Eleven.


• Taking all those things together, yeah, Torchwood as we know it is coming to an end after series 3. I don't actually believe anyone is interested in taking the show any further, specifically I don't believe John or Eve are interested in doing another series, and I think retooling it is NOT actually an option. This whole idea of a family-friendly show called "Torchwood" in the BBC's early saturday evening slot is NOT going to happen, the BBC would be far too nervous about leading the kiddies it's aimed at astray when they innocently ask Santa for the series one and two dvd's for Christmas. It's not happening. Torchwood will be disbanded at the end of series three, the Hub, blowed up and revealed to the world, will stay blowed up. ETA Again: the possibility of a BBC1 post-watershed thing is still there, yes, but I'll wait and see if Bonekickers gets recomissioned to see if Beeb1 is really aiming for a prime time LOLDrama slot, and even if they ARE doing so, that would involve, like Bonekickers, a 6-episode run, 8 at best, and I don't think Barrowman would be willing to sign for that short a series.


That's it. That's my view of where this is going. I have these urges sometimes to just post things up so I can point at them later and tell people I was right, and this is one of those times. Don't take it as anything more than that. And no, I don't know any more than you do about anything at all.

ETA:
• I wasn't going to put this in because I thought it was too weird, but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes, and because dick_grayson seems to be on a frighteningly similar wavelength, I'm going to go for: Voluntary retconning for Ianto at the end of TW series 3. For some reason or other to do with his family. It just seems to sit right for me somehow, and I think it's when we'll finally find out what's going on with him and Jack and to what extent. The reason I didn't want to put it in is because it's eerily similar to Donna's story in Who S4, and I figured it didn't make sense to do that again, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that sort of thing hasn't exactly stopped them before. The reason I think it might happen is because it's a good way to put Ianto on ice as a character, but not rule out a possible return somewhere in the franchise at some point in time. So, yeah, I'm definitely putting this one in. That is my S3 ending prediction.

Yet another trailer for this week's WHO.

Ianto gets first kissings, that's good, yeah? Though I'd like Ianto to have piped up to Gwen and said "they're freaking Daleks, it's their catchphrase, RTFM, bint", because surely, it's not like it wouldn't be well documented even in TW3 the whole Cybermans and Daleks debacle at TW Towers, right?

Observery and speculatory observation: it's about Daleks fighting EACH OTHER in some way, right? I mean Khan's and Davros' lot. Surely? Or not? I don't know, this seems somehow plausible to me.

Watch the trailer for more gratuitous Luke than you can shake a stick at. I shouldn't be excited by one so young.

ETA: ALSO: Should I be excited by the prospect of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog? Because I kind of am, but I'm not quite sure why.

Okay, this will all seem a bit random and there are spoilers and stuff, so don't read it if you don't like that sort of thing, srsly, JUST MOVE ALONG, it's not that hard.

I've been doing a bit of thinking and discussing and such about these Who finale spoilers, the talk about Rusty leaving, Torchwood being rejigged AGAIN (WHY?? Don't fix it, asshats, it ain't broke right now!!) and the possible 5/6 episode Torchwood stint, so I'm going to put some rambling thoughts down about what's going on and hope they make sense.

• First of all the 5/6 episode TW run wouldn't hugely surprise me, just because logistically, doing 6 TW eps plus 3 full length Who specials just about adds up to the same amount of work as ONE CREW would put in for a WHOLE NORMAL SEASON of either of those two things. I wouldn't read too much into it, I don't think there's an implication there that either show is scaling down for good, I think they're just attempting to keep one crew employed for the upcoming year, as opposed to offering a few months here and there, which is never a popular move.



• Money stuff. WHAT HAPPENED TO CBC?? They dropped Who after S3 and TW after S1, is that just lack of funds or what? I never actually read any reports on why the collaboration ended. Is the franchise costing BBC Wales slightly more money than we perhaps realise now that it's a solo production? Are they possibly looking for a new co-production partner? (Like I've said before, it wouldn't surprise me if BBCA were willing to pump some money into TW with a few strings attached, including upping the number of episodes, which would require better writing for en ensemble cast, which would require a slightly different production method, which... etc etc.) Plus, SciFi's first broadcast rights on Who are up soon (after the specials, I assume?) In short, I think there's A LOT going on behind the scenes right now, Russell's leaving is probably even tied into all that somewhere along the line.



• Speculation tiem: The stuff I've heard is this when it comes to the Who finale: There's a reset button, there's at least ten people IN the TARDIS (Donna, Martha, Rose, Sarah Jane, Jack, Gwen, Ianto, Mickey, Jackie, Pete). When it comes to the new series of TW, I've heard Mickey and Martha are joining, but I've also heard talk that there's been casting (for an uncommissioned series, cool) for Owen and Tosh's replacements, and, obviously, Marsters is on board for a number of episodes (in fact, he has seemed to be the MOST FIRM in seeing TW as an actual DIARY commitment already, and I figure with the commitments he has elsewhere, he is actually likely to receive more solid information than anyone else if they want him to return.)



• SO, BEARING ALL THAT IN MIND, this is my theory: It's not a popular choice, but I DO think there's a reset button involved somehow and we may well lose a few months, if not years of canon. The reason I think this, is because doing so (there was talk of Nine never having regenerated into Ten, now there's talk of Eight never having regenerated into Nine and something to do with changing the outcome of the Time War.) DOESN'T ACTUALLY AFFECT ANYTHING, IF all the major players involved in the franchise are at the eye of the storm and therefore unaffected. The Torchwood organisation could conceivably not exist or have ever existed without that proving too much of a problem for the Torchwood TV show, IF Jack, Gwen and Ianto have still been through everything they've been through in S1 and 2 by virtue of them missing out on the reset. They could easily start up TW mark 2 with no real problem, because the end is where they start from, after all. And there has been talk of a MAJOR CHANGE at TW.



• In fact, you see, the thing is, the more I think about EVERY MAJOR CHARACTER FROM THE ZOOWHONIVERSE BEING IN THE TARDIS AT THE SAME TIME, the more I can't really think of any other valid reason for that to happen OTHER THAN circumstances outside the TARDIS changing to such an extent that every player in the franchise will need protecting from those changes.



• And the reason I'm starting to buy into that idea now is PRECISELY BECAUSE I now KNOW Russell is leaving and LOOK WHAT CHIBNALL DID TO TW ON HIS WAY OUT. Russell obviously likes those big gay dramatic gestures, or you'd think he'd have vetoed major character death on Torchwood. I think Russell's going to do something MASSIVE. Not CGI massive, just massive. Canon massive.



• Having said that, it's probably jusy some big gay cgi monster.

In Gareth news: ACTUAL FIRST HAND ORGEE ACCOUNTS are more than welcome IF they are cock-related and, obviously, actual pictorial evidences of alleged cock incidents would be rewarded with some sort of fangirlish bounty.

I'd like to refer the right honourable viewing public to a poll I created in torchwoodcoffee 15 months ago HERE.

And, the results of said poll, and my ramblings about WHY EVERYONE WHO VOTED IN SAID POLL WAS TOTALLY WRONG, HERE.

*preemptively does the TOLD YOU SO dance*

Seriously. Watch this space. They totally DONE IT well before Cyberwoman, and I think we all know there was an Agenda.

MANWHORESPY