*coughs*

[tencrush]

Random:

• I wasn't ever really serious, initially anyway, but eventually I did actually briefly find myself pondering the morals of creating a sock to infiltrate what's-her-face's friendslocked Torchwood photoshoppery. I came to the conclusion that while I believe it's no more morally wrong to do such a thing than it is to paste real life actors' faces onto gay porn stills, the balance was swayed against doing it because a)it would involve me actually putting in some effort into searching out pornographic photomanips, and I despise photomanips, especially pornographic ones, so that didn't really make any logical sense to me and b)I couldn't really work out what I'd do with them once I got there because obviously they're f-locked and all I could really do would be to laugh at them on my own, or repost them here, which would be a wanky thing to do and of course c)thankfully, used_songs sent me a bunch of links to some freely available doozies. Of which more laters.


• Everyone's moving to Dreamwidth now? I have no idea why people are doing this, a few people on my flist seem to be involved with the thing, but nobody seems to have ever really taken the time to adequately explain to anyone what the point to the whole thing is, and so the whole Dreamwidth experience feels like some huge meeting that I somehow managed entirely to miss. Rather like Twitter. Having said that, does anyone have a Dreamwidth code going spare that they could PM me? Also, I tried to set up a main account there, just so I could pretend to play with the cool kids, but my PSP just shows a bunch of empty boxes with no clue as to what they're for, so I don't know how to import my LJ into it, nor do I think I can be bothered to find out, I'm busy enough as it is without having to sit behind my laptop and actually do computer things. But anyway, I'd like another code if there is one because I'd like to set up a secondary account as well, just to stake my claim and that. Not that it really matters. Can you sense my ennui filtering through in this post yet? Yeah, that's basically how I feel about life at the moment.


• As you've probably noticed, I've dropped out of TW fandom pretty much lately, not because I hate it, but the wait for S3 is really getting on my nerves and frankly I have nothing more to say on the subject of that cracky show until I've seen something new. And I'm too busy watching and ENJOYING Dollhouse (yeah, so sue me, I like it) and, embarrassingly, kind of obsessing a little bit about watching The Big Bang Theory and maybe actually shipping Sheldon/Penny. Shenny? Pendon? I don't know, I don't move in those circles, as much as I might be tempted to. While we wait, though... My wanderings around the internet in the past day or two haven't brought much in the way of Torchwood spoilage, though I did read somewhere that they're building Moffat's HD-ready TARDIS interior and it's so big that they've taken down the Hub set to make room. All of which leads me to reiterate once again: There is NO TW Series 4. Srsly. So, yeah, there's that.


• Anyway, back on the topic of naked men. Yes, so, I got some linkies messaged to me, the best of which were definitely to be found on fanbot.net. Whoever that is, they're disturbed to a frightening degree. Anyway, I picked two gooduns because I'd like to comment on them as I have nothing better to do with my time.
  THIS FIRST ONE HAS NO TITLE:
  
  
  
  Which is a shame, because it could really do with one. (I'll leave the strange contrast difference of Ianto's hair to the rest of the picture for what it is and move on) I'd suggest perhaps: LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO MENTION THE RATHER SQUICKY, SWEATY FEELING OF YOUR COCK AND BALLS IN MY NECK IN THIS TROPICAL SETTING AND PULLING THIS FACE INSTEAD, SAFE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU CAN'T SEE IT BECAUSE YOU'VE PROBABLY GOT YOUR EYES CLOSED, BLISSFULLY REMEMBERING THAT CHEST WAX YOU HAD YESTERDAY. Or something of that ilk. I'd find this picture hilariously funny even with the original heads. Something, in fact, tells me that this picture may be a head swap on top of an already headswapped picture, the original faces now sadly lost in the mists of time. I'd like to think that this picture, with Jack and Ianto's heads, may well form the base for yet another headswap, and another after that and after that, the necks growing subtly longer and that thigh-neck crossover area growing subtly blurrier with every shop job. I'd do an illustration of how I think it will look years from now, but like I said: ennui. I'm sure you can picture it. Which brings me to:
  
  
  
  AHGAD! My eyes. I picked this one first of all because it has AMUSING WORDS on it. If there's one thing worse than Photoshopped porn, it's Photoshopped porn featuring AMUSING WORDS, which in itself is only marginally better than Photoshopped porn featuring TWEE ROMANTIC WORDS, which is the worst thing in the world and the work of the devil. But yes, amusing words. Ha. Secondly, this picture features one of my personal pet peeves which is the ligamentally snipped porn cock. Blech. In fact, the whole thing just... baffles me. Is he aiming his cock at someone, about to shoot? I find myself thinking about the physics behind that possibility, and coming to the conclusion that he'd be better off aiming it about 20 degrees or so higher, depending on the propulsion involved. The fact that this picture makes me think those thoughts in and of itself is quite funny, I suppose, and the fact that I can now readily imagine Jack to be the kind of person who wanders around the Hub holding his cock at jaunty angles and pointing it at people is worrying, to say the least. Also: Why do so many porn manips feature THAT FUCKING SOFA?? It's disgusting, and now whenever I see it in the show I imagine that it smells funny and is blighted by crusty spunk stains. Thank you, photoshoppery, for putting these things into my head. Must go lie down now.

That's it from me. Move along.

Comments

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

I love your pornomanip commentaries.

[jamesie-boy.livejournal.com]

LMAO. i'd only scrolled down a little bit so when i saw the first picture all i saw was 'Ianto' and his penis was Jack's head. LMAO.

[jo02]

The first thing I noticed in those two manips was the body-swap. Jack's borrowed Ianto's body for the second pic. In fact, the longer I looked at it I'm convinced it's the same muscle-bound body in both pics.
Oh, do please find the mental energy to create the sockpuppet - there needs to be some serious flocked-flist-raiding.

[alba17.livejournal.com]

Very funny. I don't need photomanips to visualize the horror of that couch. I think that couch must be the most disgusting thing in the universe, despite all of Ianto's efforts to keep it clean.

Dreamwidth - I made an account over there just because someone had extra invite codes. I have no idea what I'll do with it, if anything. It's apparently easy to copy your LJ entries over there. I haven't done it yet. I don't have any codes to give you, sorry.

[dvanulya.livejournal.com]

You know what's REALLY awful about that couch?

MY MOTHER HAS THE SAME ONE. Well, the same fabric - the wooden arms are different on hers. Yes, I have studied this in great detail.

*cringe*

[love-jackianto.livejournal.com]

Oh I saw the first manip when it was originally posted 0_o

[tildathebuilder.livejournal.com]

"cocks at jaunty angles" makes me snigger like a teenager. Please can you pass me the bleach when you've finished with it.

[off_coloratura]

:o "ligamentally snipped"? Do you know something about the porn industry that I do not?

I feel the same Torchwood weariness waiting for the next season. But the fact that they TORE THE HUB DOWN to build a big fuckin' TARDIS in it makes me very sad. Do you reckon Ianto's done for then?

Dreamwidth: I don't get it either. Apparently it looks just like LJ but is better because the people running it CARE and it's open-source, or something. I am going to wait a bit and see how it plays out, but since I have a lifetime account here, I doubt I'll be going anywhere. I may make a professional, real-life blog over there someday.

[tencrush]

Umm... I'm not a doctor, so don't quote me. The suspensory ligament holds the penis up when it's erect, and makes it point in more or less the right upward and forward direction. Severing that ligament makes the flaccid penis look significantly longer because there's nothing pulling the base of the penis into the body, and is the sort of thing a certain kind of porn star tends to do to make their cocks look huge, as far as I'm aware it is or was quite a popular procedure. It tends to result in the erect penis being quite mobile, as in a lot easier to push downwards or sideways or whatever, which in porn is sometimes a bonus, but in a lot of cases it also means that even though he's perfectly hard, the guy has to actually hold his erection in the direction he would like it to point, and it's why some porn stars are always holding their cock up, or fondling it up until the moment of penetration.

Or so I've heard.

[off_coloratura]

Oh, UGH. That explains a great deal. I always thought either they weren't entirely hard or they had just sort of gone floppy from overuse.

The things people will do to mutilate their bodies.

Ahem. DOLLHOUSE! It went from pretty lame to quite good, didn't it? Are you all caught up yet? I'm really on pins and needles for the finale. The last ep blew my mind.

[iko.livejournal.com]

Dollhouse keeps on getting better and better... and yes, that last episode was full of awesome.

[jo02]

I can't believe the synchronicity of the universe!
This - this - thing - came up in my daily google search for Torchwood - honestly, completely random hit, I swear! -
http://fandomdreams.blogspot.com/2009/05/torchwood-interviews-best-practice.html

ETA - click on 'photomanips' on the right-hand side for more. I have to say, not all of them were awful!

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

Gods help me, I can't stop laughing. Oh dear. I'm a complete swine. Ow my stummick.

(As manips go, I actually think the first one is rather better done than usual. It's just those particular expressions. Oy vey.)

Think of the sheer quantity of virginity that must've been lost on that sofa.