Why a whelk...

From fandomsecrets:

( BIG PICSHUR with lolediting )

OVER 400? Really? Is that what that says? I find that hard to believe, secretmaker. I have no way of checking, but that sounds... excessive, even for the grudgewankers at who_anon. I don't post that much about me, and I find myself reasonably fascinating. So, yeah... if that's true, then, whoa. Weirdness. (Admission: I'm kind of obsessively trying to do the maths on this one, because I've tracked things in my inbox before, and I know that the email format mentions the previous comment in any comment reply, so if I were mentioned in one comment, any comment replying to that comment would have the original comment quoted in it, so the first reply, and second mention of my name, would bring the count to three, etc etc. Even so, I still think 400 is a lot. I should stop thinking about this, probably. BAWWWW MOAR, TENCRUSH! etc.)

Speaking of internet haters who should be doing better things with their time, i.e. me, a personal note to the person who made this:



(The one that says ILU) This picture inspired me to use an openface Cooper style font in my header image, because it reminded me how fond I actually am of that font, especially the openface variety. (Mine is Alfredo, but this is beside the point.) Of all the images and messages on the Ianto shrine, I actually quite like this one, because it's sweet, as, to be fair, are most of the others. That's why I mentioned it, albeit sarcastically. That's just an aside, oh maker-of-the-ILU-picture, I am sure your heart and your sentiments are in the right place, as is the heart of everyone else who put something up on that shrine in Cardiff Bay. I have nothing personal against anyone who has done so, I, myself would have LOVED to have put something up on that shrine to Ianto because I miss him LIKE BURNING, I am still angry, I am still sad, I am still frustrated. My problem with the shrine is the same problem I have with the SaveIanto pdf, and the Save Ianto campaign in general, and it's that you, people of the Save Ianto campaign, have hijacked my grief and my anger and my frustration and used it to support your Annie Wilkes-style campaign to pester and bully and spam the BBC and anyone else you can think of with the message that IANTO JONES MUST BE RETURNED TO TORCHWOOD OR ELSE. Just like all the quotes you ganked for your document, just like all the charitable donations made to Children in Need, again with the way you've claimed this shrine as your own you're twisting people's genuine, heartfelt expressions and using them to claim support for your cause. And still, I can see from my inbox, you genuinely don't understand why this upsets and angers people. (People like me, but not just me, I just happen to talk about it sometimes.) Duh, dudes. Double duh.

Speaking of moving on and getting over it, though, Lessons in Torchwood Irony, part one: letiantorest. Hur, hur. I know, let's Let Ianto Rest by starting a community about Letting Ianto Rest called letiantorest. Guys, protip: Letting Ianto Rest: UR DOIN IT WRONG. There is not a smidgeon of irony to be found in the posts and comments, which is funny enough, but the fact that it seems to centre around self-importantly declaring it a space where fans can be Better Than Other Fans, while at the same time expressing a wish to Bring The Fandom Back Together is just... oh, fuck, it's delicious. You never fail to bring the luls, TW fans. Don't ever change.

I am rewatching TW S2 for Ianto and his phone. He is not on the phone enough in S2, I'm five episodes in and already grasping at straws. I may well have to lump it in with CoE, which is full of phoney Iantoey goodness, apart from the part in which he becomes dead. But I don't have to watch that part, because I'm pretty certain he's not on the phone after that happens.

Yeah, that's it, I'm outta here.

( Me and who_anon. Way too long to read, but it's my once-every-so-many-months rant, so deal, dudes. )

And no, obviously, this isn't friendslocked, like I said, I'd like to contribute in some small way to the place dying. Of course I read it, I claimed once (maybe twice? okay maybe three times) that I was going to stop reading it, and I did, for a time, but then gossip happens and I go right back. I'd love for there to be a pure whovian gossip comm. And by that I mean I wish ohnowhodidnt had actual gossip. Why can't we do that, people? We should get on that. Not me, though. Somebody else.

I went to post a comment somewhere and found I'd been banned from someone's journal. I've never been banned from anyone's journal before, and I quite like the person in question and don't recall ever having had a disagreement with them of any kind. Random defriendings by people who I thought were my actual friends I can deal with, but banning? Wow. Ouch.

Speaking of which, this is kind of where I am at the moment:

• There's not a lot of joy for me left in Whovian fandom. I'll probably post something later about how much I hated Waters of Mars. I have no desire to watch anything RTD has produced or DT stars in, and I am only just managing to hold on to a scrap of enthusiasm for when Moffat and Smith come in. I hate Russell, I hate everything he's ever written, I think he's awful. His insistence on bringing all this emotional manpain and trauma into these shows that used to just be a joyful experience for me and, in the case of Who, for my kids, has ruined my fannish experience. I want the last three years of my life back, I wish I'd never started watching Torchwood, I wish I'd stopped watching Who. I don't need television that pisses me off and makes me sad, that's not what I watch television for. Fuck you Russell, I hope LA chews you up and spits you out and fucks you in the ass with a pointy stick.


• Ianto did make me happy for quite a few years, which is why I'm working on a last epic picspam of my favourite teaboy doing shit. I hope to have it done in a week or two.


• I'm also working on something of a personal project celebrating Torchwood Series One and Two, which I hope to tell you more about in the coming weeks. Or maybe I'll just abandon it.


• I was hoping to do a Christmas push on the Ianto Jones Wants a Pony campaign, but the Lluest Horse and Pony Trust's continued inability to update me is starting to annoy me a bit, so maybe I'll leave it. After Christmas, I'm done promoting it because I think I've done enough. I'll leave it up, of course.


• Any takers for ninja_teaboy may give me shout here or in PM. I'm putting it up for adoption per January 1st. If there's no-one interested, I'll close it down.


• Oh, in case you were wondering, no. If there is a new series of Torchwood, I won't be watching it, as I don't really like Gwen, or Jack. I liked Tosh and Ianto and I quite enjoyed disliking Owen. I liked Ianto, I liked Tosh, I liked the Hub, the embossed SUV, the pteranodon, the old ladies, the poodles, the victorian lesbianism, the cyberbikinis and that stupid fucking invisible lift. In fact, I loved all those things. Apparently I loved those things far too much. Those things are all gone, so there's nothing for me to come back to. Not that there will be a new series.


• It's been really fun, people, but if you've friended me for Torchwood content, please, feel free to defriend me in the coming weeks, I won't be offended. I am completely spent. Done. Thanks, Rusty.

My meme stalker has taken to posting ENTIRE POSTS, IN THEIR ENTIRETY on the meme. It makes a change from the commentless links, I suppose. In this case, I think the idea was to have everyone pile in and say how wrong I am to say that people having casual sex is just that, people having casual sex. Which happens, A LOT, so take your moral superiority and shove it up your arse, because some people actually enjoy having safe and consensual sex, dudes. Really! It didn't really work in this case, because most people seem to agree with me, apart from those who enjoy calling other people skanks for what those other people do with their pussies which is none of their fucking business. Yo, meme, your prudish Yank is showing. Put it away, already.

For the record: I don't think the meme is beneath me. I'm just not terribly interested in posting there. I fully support anyone who likes the anonymity of the meme, and I can totally understand why people like that aspect of it, I'm sure it's very liberating. I just have a terrible time talking to people I can't identify and who can't identify me, I need some sort of context. It makes me really uncomfortable for some reason, probably for the same reasons that other people find it comforting. Sure I read it, I've more or less always read it, how would I find out about sinkwank otherwise? You gotta go somewhere, and truth be told, on a fannish level, I hardly venture off LiveJournal nowadays, there's not much else to my fannish world, I've never read TWOP and only rarely read Digital Spy, I didn't like the old OG much and I haven't even signed up for the new one, all I ever did there was argue with old men anyway. I still get pissed that I get linked to so often on the meme, simply because I don't really think I have that fascinating or controversial an opinion on anything, so I fail to see the point. But just like sink sex, whatever floats your boat is fine with me, link away, take the piss, do whatever makes you happy. In your pants.

Yeah, I know, I said I'd do a picspam. But first I'll do a post about love. All this will happen after I've cleaned the carpet, today's the last day of warmness when it might actually dry and it needs attention after the kiddie party. There was spillage. lots of it.

I use my Sheldon icon because dudes, Big Bang's nearly on again.

ETA: Also, I HAVE FISH. Dudes, if you think having fish means buying an aquarium, filling it with water and bunging some fish in, you'd be SORELY MISTAKEN. I think we've spent well over 50 euros on additives and testing kits alone. Fuck me, they're more work that a dog.

Spotted on who_anon in a conversation about John Barrowman being the exact opposite of the hot body, shame about the face stereotype:

ANONA: His face is fugly too. He's a buttereverything to me.
ANONB: No doubt you're the fairest of them all, anon.
ANONA: YOU DON'T NEED TO LOOK GREAT TO HAVE STANDARDS.
ANONB: Lol. Shine on with your standards, you special snowflake you.

LOL. I've seen this argument SO OFTEN, particularly in Torchwood fandom, and it makes me laugh EVERY TIME. It's just... WUT??? Since when do you need to be attractive to be allowed to have an opinion on another person's attractiveness? I was, ON SO MANY OCCASIONS, told that I was NOT THIN ENOUGH to be allowed to say that I thought GDL was looking a bit porky. I often wonder precisely how much weight I'd need to lose in order to be allowed to make an observation on the weight of someone on my telly. In fact, I'm sorely tempted to lose two stone just so I can counter the argument with "Why yes, actually, I AM THIN, and therefore I MAY PASS JUDGEMENT ON HIS PORKINESS," and find out what THE NEXT STEP IN THE ARGUMENT is. I somehow doubt, you see, that the next step would be Oh, you're thin? Oh alright then, make all the pie jokes you like, carry on. Oh, you're beautiful? Really? Then you may say you find JB unattractive. Oh, you've made successful and critically acclaimed television shows? Ah, well then you may carry on critiquing Torchwood, go right ahead.

For the record, I think GDL's looking verra hawt this season. But if you don't agree with me, I'm hardly going to smack you down with an "OH LIKE YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING OIL PAINTING, BITCH." The logic of that argument escapes me entirely.

(Sometimes it's like who_anon is an entirely irony-free zone. Like, you know, telling someone they're an unfit parent because they sometimes say mean things on the internet. Which is... like... a really mean thing to say... on the internet... ummm... where was I going with this? As offended as I am, that's actually funny on so many levels, I don't even know where to start.)

You must excuse me because I am now off to go make a dramatically satisfying 5-one-hour-parts-over-one-exciting-week miniseries in which none of the main characters die, just so I can, you know, complain later if need be. I may be some time.