Why a whelk...

I went to post a comment somewhere and found I'd been banned from someone's journal. I've never been banned from anyone's journal before, and I quite like the person in question and don't recall ever having had a disagreement with them of any kind. Random defriendings by people who I thought were my actual friends I can deal with, but banning? Wow. Ouch.

Speaking of which, this is kind of where I am at the moment:

• There's not a lot of joy for me left in Whovian fandom. I'll probably post something later about how much I hated Waters of Mars. I have no desire to watch anything RTD has produced or DT stars in, and I am only just managing to hold on to a scrap of enthusiasm for when Moffat and Smith come in. I hate Russell, I hate everything he's ever written, I think he's awful. His insistence on bringing all this emotional manpain and trauma into these shows that used to just be a joyful experience for me and, in the case of Who, for my kids, has ruined my fannish experience. I want the last three years of my life back, I wish I'd never started watching Torchwood, I wish I'd stopped watching Who. I don't need television that pisses me off and makes me sad, that's not what I watch television for. Fuck you Russell, I hope LA chews you up and spits you out and fucks you in the ass with a pointy stick.


• Ianto did make me happy for quite a few years, which is why I'm working on a last epic picspam of my favourite teaboy doing shit. I hope to have it done in a week or two.


• I'm also working on something of a personal project celebrating Torchwood Series One and Two, which I hope to tell you more about in the coming weeks. Or maybe I'll just abandon it.


• I was hoping to do a Christmas push on the Ianto Jones Wants a Pony campaign, but the Lluest Horse and Pony Trust's continued inability to update me is starting to annoy me a bit, so maybe I'll leave it. After Christmas, I'm done promoting it because I think I've done enough. I'll leave it up, of course.


• Any takers for ninja_teaboy may give me shout here or in PM. I'm putting it up for adoption per January 1st. If there's no-one interested, I'll close it down.


• Oh, in case you were wondering, no. If there is a new series of Torchwood, I won't be watching it, as I don't really like Gwen, or Jack. I liked Tosh and Ianto and I quite enjoyed disliking Owen. I liked Ianto, I liked Tosh, I liked the Hub, the embossed SUV, the pteranodon, the old ladies, the poodles, the victorian lesbianism, the cyberbikinis and that stupid fucking invisible lift. In fact, I loved all those things. Apparently I loved those things far too much. Those things are all gone, so there's nothing for me to come back to. Not that there will be a new series.


• It's been really fun, people, but if you've friended me for Torchwood content, please, feel free to defriend me in the coming weeks, I won't be offended. I am completely spent. Done. Thanks, Rusty.

• In defense of me... First of all, I love how when I post something about Barrowman, it never gets linked in the torchwood_three newsletter, because it'll usually be about me thinking he's a bit of a dick. The Barrowmafia is strong. Not that I give a rat's arse, it's just something I've noticed.


• Secondly, I've noticed that the extreme Barrowman love tends to come from Americans. I find that interesting from a sociological perspective, and I can understand where that comes from. A lot of American fans seem to find his out-and-out outness and happy-go-lucky lifestyle refreshingly different. As a European, I find it a mite tedious, and slightly overly perky and, indeed, American. I get outness on my telly and in my parliament and my newspapers and everywhere else on a daily basis, and as soon as you start going OTT with that outness, it strikes me as being a calculated exploitation of one's sexuality, which I associate with camp light entertainers and panto stars like Paul O'Grady and Julian Clary. But then, that's what Barrowman is. And the US doesn't really have Graham Nortons and Paul O'Gradys, and it certainly doesn't have that not-in-your-face outness of politicians and newspeople and actors and whoever that I take for granted over here, so I guess Barrowman is refreshing to a lot of Americans (As an aside, whatever happened to those uber-camp light entertainers I seem to recall the US having back in the seventies and eighties on things like Hollywood Squares and The Love Boat? Did they disappear into the woodwork out when AIDS hit? Did it cease being funny to be stereotypically gay? Were those guys ever really accepted as being gay by mainstream America, or were they just point-and-laugh funny because they acted gay? And why can't I remember any of their names?) But yeah, anyway, I can see why people think he's cool, and seriously, if you love the guy, go for it. There are far worse people on this earth to love, and apart from anything else, I don't think the man has a nasty bone in his body. Apart from the bone that would probably make a joke about the phrase "nasty bone", and that bone's just crude, but not nasty. And if he's got just one Torchwood fan who's never really been in contact with homosexuality and never known anyone who's gay and never really thought about it, to realise that it's okay to be gay and the world isn't going to end because two guys shack up and get a couple of gay dogs and move into your neighbourhood, then that's a great thing, because that's how it works. Go Barrowmanfans, go forth and be happy, I have nothing against you. I just think he's a bit of a dick. But that's just me.


• A specific defense of me, not that I've been named, but I can read between the lines, I never claimed that Barrowman has corrupted the virginal GDL and turned him into a waving-his-cock-in-your-face-type monster. Though I did say something along those lines here once that may have been construed that way. Gareth David-Lloyd is a 27-year-old man and I fully believe that he, like most 27-year-olds, will happily and drunkenly wave his cock in anyone's face, stick it down anyone's throat and possibly even try to stick things up it for a bet just like any healthy boy his age, without the need of ANY encouragement from anyone else. What I DID say was in conjunction with all the hullabaloo surrounding the Hub convention, and it was that I think Barrowman, who's been around a bit and is, let's face it a lot older and presumably wiser, has been a bad influence on convention n00bs like Gareth and Naoko, not in inciting bad behaviour, but in giving the impression that this sort of behaviour is perfectly acceptable. None of that would have been an issue for me were it not for the fact that after that particular convention, vibes were being spread around the interwebs that What Happened At The Hub Should Stay At The Hub, and the impression was given that the actors' behaviour at said convention somehow wasn't palatable for the general public. And in that respect I'm probably just too much of an old woman, and more forgiving of the youngsters, in as much as I think Barrowman really is old enough to know better, and the reason I singled out Barrowman specifically, is because those vibes I mentioned were reported to be coming from him solely, and not from anyone else, which I found hypocritical of someone who so eagerly encourages the crudeness in others. In retrospect, like I've said before, I may have misread the fact that JB specifically didn't want his behaviour getting out. Not being a huge fan of his, I kind of misinterpreted some of the uberBarrowmanettes' tone of "JOHN TALKED TO US OMG I TALKED TO JOHN!!" as "JOHN is the one, out of all of them, who specifically felt this way", simply because that first interpretation doesn't really impress me and therefore I kind of just read over it and went straight for the second. But yeah, that's why I went for John. Make of it what you will.


• Oh, and dudes, I've never claimed that Jack is a subby little bottom. I do, frequently claim Ianto is a dommy little top, which is a hangover from my glee at being proven right in my assertion, all that time ago, that Ianto was a manwhore who pulled the wool over Jack's eyes re. Lisa by distracting him with sex, but I've never once stated that that implies Jack is a subby little bottom. I really should stop reading the anonymeme, I know. I can't help myself.


• ( TORCHWOOD SPOILERS )


• Oh yes, and when Torchwood is axed, everyone will blame Moffat. Everyone from now on will blame Moffat for EVERYTHING. It's got nothing to do with Moffat, though I do believe Moffat wants nothing to do with Torchwood, but that in itself would not be an adequate reason for the BBC to axe the show. The hate for Moffat is strong, and it's completely unfounded, and it's only going to get worse and worse and worse. I weep for this fandom, I really do. I still love you, Steven.

As you were.

( If you're reading my journal, you'll KNOW there's spoilers, there's ALWAYS spoilers. Duh. )

It's funny, really, if I take Jack/Gwen out of the equation, Jack/Ianto comes across quite differently. I've reached saturation point with the Jack/Gwen thing, and therefore I'm now actively pretending it doesn't and didn't exist. Kind of like what they did with Gwen/Owen. Rethink our canon slash without the gappy toothed distraction, and you get a whole different story. Has my brain just finally given up? Am I thinking about this show WAAYYYY too much?

I'd like to refer the right honourable viewing public to a poll I created in torchwoodcoffee 15 months ago HERE.

And, the results of said poll, and my ramblings about WHY EVERYONE WHO VOTED IN SAID POLL WAS TOTALLY WRONG, HERE.

*preemptively does the TOLD YOU SO dance*

Seriously. Watch this space. They totally DONE IT well before Cyberwoman, and I think we all know there was an Agenda.

MANWHORESPY

Only a week to go! I'm so stupidly excited about Torchwood, I thought it best to try and get a little perspective. So, I'm tabulating my expectations and what I expect will come of my expectations, in more or less random order. I present to you:

THE TORCHWOOD TABLE OF DOOM, AKA YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT

WHAT I WANT	WHAT I'LL GET
Ianto Jones: l33t button-nosed welsh-voweled cute-suited agenda-carrying sekritly-trained-ninja manwhorespy	Ianto Jones: Jack Harkness' button-nosed welsh-voweled cute-suited spineless fawning submissive boycandy fucktoy of a wife
Gwen gets her comeuppance for her appalling behaviour last season, especially the retcon thing	Gwen gets happily married and knocked up because SHE IS BETTER THAN ALL OF US
Tosh in a happy, healthy relationship because she deserves it	Tosh as a sad old geek spinster, because she's a nerd, yo
Tosh's cleavage	Owen's nipples
Naked Ianto	Naked Rhys
Shiny teeth	Shiny teeth
Gratuitous mankissing	Gratuitous mankissing
Big coats	Big coats

I'm right, aren't I? Go on, tell me I'm wrong and I'll love you forever. I'm right, I know I'm right.

I started wondering yesterday about whether or not I actually shipped Jack/Ianto, mostly because I'm convinced the pairing will be dropped in season 2 like it never existed, and I was trying to work out if that would upset or relieve me.

Anyway, thinking about it made me realise why I'm so keen on the Ianto=l33tmanwhorespy theory. The truth is that if Ianto isn't a manwhorespy, or at least has something on Jack, like he knows more about him than he's letting on, or about the Doctor, or he's just up to something, anything... if none of that is the case, if the relationship really is as straightforward as it's been presented, with Ianto being the teaboy/archivist and Jack being Jack, with all that that implies, that, to me makes the balance of power in the relationship so fucking skewed that it could certainly be called harassment, and starts to border on abuse of power. Not that I'm saying Ianto couldn't take care of himself, spy or no spy, but it strikes me as exploitation on Jack's part nonetheless.

The fact of the matter is, that I need my manwhorespy theory in order to not be totally squicked by the sexual and/or romantic relationship which, I'm assuming here, exists between the two of them (are there still people not actually taking Jack/Ianto as canon? I don't actually know.)

If the manwhorespy thing were actually true to a greater or lesser extent, I would happily ship them, because, damn, they're pretty together, dude.

I'm sure I had a point to make, but it has temporarily escaped my mind. Oh yeah:

MANWHORESPY=ASSBABIES.

Oh, and the same reasoning applies for the "The Relationship Is Dom/sub and Ianto is Teh Dom" theory. Which works for me on the same principle of fixx0ring the skewed power dynamic being presented. Plus: IS HAWT.

I typed stuff. Yay for me.

*points at icon*
See? Pretty mouth. Moving on...

( Another Torchwood prediction, I wonder who it could be about... )