TORCHWOOD: WHAT TO EXPECT

[tencrush]

Only a week to go! I'm so stupidly excited about Torchwood, I thought it best to try and get a little perspective. So, I'm tabulating my expectations and what I expect will come of my expectations, in more or less random order. I present to you:

THE TORCHWOOD TABLE OF DOOM, AKA YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT

WHAT I WANT	WHAT I'LL GET
Ianto Jones: l33t button-nosed welsh-voweled cute-suited agenda-carrying sekritly-trained-ninja manwhorespy	Ianto Jones: Jack Harkness' button-nosed welsh-voweled cute-suited spineless fawning submissive boycandy fucktoy of a wife
Gwen gets her comeuppance for her appalling behaviour last season, especially the retcon thing	Gwen gets happily married and knocked up because SHE IS BETTER THAN ALL OF US
Tosh in a happy, healthy relationship because she deserves it	Tosh as a sad old geek spinster, because she's a nerd, yo
Tosh's cleavage	Owen's nipples
Naked Ianto	Naked Rhys
Shiny teeth	Shiny teeth
Gratuitous mankissing	Gratuitous mankissing
Big coats	Big coats

I'm right, aren't I? Go on, tell me I'm wrong and I'll love you forever. I'm right, I know I'm right.

Comments

[off_coloratura]

I like your Torchwood better. Clearly you need to go to Wales and write for it.

[tencrush]

I BET THEY MAKE US LOOK AT OWEN'S NIPPLES AGAIN. I haven't yet come to terms with the last time they made us do that.

Ianto's arse. Come on, surely that's not too much to ask? We had to endure Rhys's bottom on like a weekly basis, what was up with that?

MY TORCHWOOD PWNS RUSTY'S TORCHWOOD LIEK WHOA.

[off_coloratura]

I KNOW. They keep making all of these references to Jack and Ianto's romance; surely there can be a little skin involved?

Alas, they seem to think Ianto's sewn into that suit.

And while I'm on the subject of GDL and fashion, just what is up with that leather cuff he's wearing in his latest interview? Oh, honey.

As for Owen, I think they've explored all the facets of his personality adequately enough, including nipples.

[tencrush]

BLESS GDL, I still want to take him home and feed him cake. And see his arse.

[off_coloratura]

"No, honestly, GDL. In this house we take our pants off before we eat cake. I'm sorry, but them's the rules. My hands are tied."

[cryptile.livejournal.com]

You're right. (Is the proper response laughter or tears?)

[tencrush]

Ummm... tears of joy?

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

SOME OUT OF SOME IS NOT BAD!

I kind of want some gratification on the Owen/Tosh front. Even though that will never happen ):

boycandy fucktoy of a wife probably made me rofl far more than it should've done.

[tencrush]

I WANT HER TO PUNCH HIM. HARD.

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

I would approve of that.

[suchstrangeways.livejournal.com]

I really love your version of Torchwood. Ianto is described perfectly. But you forgot to add 'stopwatch carrying' to the list. You can't forget the stopwatch!

[qthewetsprocket.livejournal.com]

you have tosh's cleavage, and i'll have owen's nipples. yay, everyone's happy! :)

[tencrush]

Ewww, what would you want them for? Frightening wee things.

[qthewetsprocket.livejournal.com]

...bottlecap warmers?