tencrush: (chris beard porn)
Oh, Mystery Date. So many preteen girls used to make me play this while babysitting. Maybe Tyler imprinted on me without me noticing.

tencrush: (chris beard porn)
I'm scary obsessed with his arms now.

I need professional help at this point.

tencrush: (chris beard porn)
Here's a thing that's been brought to my attention:

Why does Chris Evans do a two-fingered Disney point?

Like, always... )


May. 31st, 2014 04:00 pm
tencrush: (french steve)

I'll take that as a yes, shall, I? And a cue to start fangirling the shit out of it.

tencrush: (chris beard porn)
Further to my previous post, seriously... I would ship it like it was my FULL TIME JOB. I would sell my children so I could spend more time supporting the Evans/Bullock cause. And I say this as a person who generally doesn't give a crap about celebrity relationships. But, come on... I mean. HER FACE.



May. 29th, 2014 02:51 pm
tencrush: (chris beard porn)
Yeah, so I watched The Amazing Spiderman 2, and I only have a few thoughts.

  • Apart from the horrific thing ten minutes from the end, come the actual end, I did feel somewhat like I'd just sat through a live action version of The Incredibles. It can't just be me who thinks that, right? Spiderman always has a way more juvenile sensibility than any of the other Marvel outings, no matter the studio. It always feels like a kids' film.

  • I love Spidey, really, but the thing with Garfield and Dane DeHaan is that they really are very, very young looking. That's not a bad thing, per se, but it does make the entire film feel like that Ultimate Spiderman high school AU. Which would be fine if Principal Coulson was in it, but sadly he's not. It does, however, reinforce my opinion that, of all people, it's Spidey whom I would most like to see incorporated into the MCU. Which is a shame, because he's probably the character least likely to ever revert back to Marvel.

  • I was spoiled for the spoiler of death, but still, the manner in which it happened was utterly shocking to me. So quick and brutal and fucking heartbreaking. Wow, just... yeah. I cried.

  • Garfield and Stone are adorkable together. I don't normally have very much interest in which celebs poke their bits into which other celebs, but I endore those two whole heartedly for some reason.

That is all, really.

Speaking of celebrity couple endorsements, those several fluff gossip pieces doing the rounds about Chris Evans and Sandra Bullock are just that: hot air, they-had-dinner-together speculatory fluff. Which saddens me because seriously, if that happened, I would endorse that like it was MY FUCKING JOB. Get in there, girl.


May. 18th, 2014 10:03 am
tencrush: (chris beard porn)
I have literally nothing to say, but I'm just leaving this here, it's kinda like tumblr.

Seriously, you're thinking I'm going to have an opinion on something or a theory or whatever, but I'm not. I just pasted a gif and now I'm going.


May. 10th, 2014 09:00 pm
tencrush: (chris beard porn)
Why has taken me this long to discover these adorable photos of this perfect trifecta of Marvel dorks? Ah, yes, I don't frequent tumblr enough, that's why.

I'm still not sure how I feel about the Amazing Spiderman series, apart from being really happy it doesn't involve Tobey Maguire and the utterly unwatchable Kirsten Dunst. But I do sort of love Andrew Garfield, and even more so, Andrew Garfield's hair. So I'll probably jump in there again when TASM2 comes out on dvd.

Oh, you guys. STOP IT.

tencrush: (chris beard porn)
Btw, I will from now on be illustrating every thought in my head with gifs because I like gifs. Gifs are good.

Cap news...


In Cap news, I read the first part of Civil War and was thoroughly depressed by it. HOWEVER, if they do decide to go this route with the inevitable death of SteveCap in the MCU, at least I have an entire movie to look forward to of Cap getting HIS ARSE KICKED and suffering righteously. Somehow, I don't find that thought hugely unappealing. Am currently looking for the next installment, but have Brubakers's Winter Soldier to distract me until I find it. (Ah, yes, I only read comics on paper, I spend enough fucking time staring at screens, I just can't do it, I'm afraid.)

In other news, I watched Puncture.

Gah, Mike Weiss, what a strangely likeable, morally ambiguous, drugged up asshole you apparently were.

Okay, I kind of understand the point a lot of people make about Evans hijacking this movie a little, but in fairness, I don't really think the film ever purports to be anything other than a movie about Mike Weiss. It's not really about the case or the nurse or Paul or Dancort and I don't think it pretends to be. At the end of the day it's about this guy and why he did this. Did he just have a need for drama and attention? Did he crave winning and being right above all else? Or was he genuinely trying to change the world for the better? Come the end of it, you really, really want to believe it's the last thing and kudos to Chris for giving the guy enough likeability to allow us to see him as the hero, in spite of everything.

Also, everything Mike wore was hilarious. Just saying.

Most films portray heroin addiction as going hand in hand with either mental illness, extreme, murderous violence or rat and dead baby infested hellholes. Mike Weiss was good, if not brilliant, at his job, but occasionally late for things and forgot to pay the insurance that one time. Most courtroom dramas are full of desk pounding and cross examinations and YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH. This case involved meeting after meeting, endless requests for paperwork and tedious legwork in a crappy car. Nothing in this movie was played up for the sake of drama, apart from, maybe, this:

But, come on, that was worth it just for the reveal that he's got an unexpected wife. And even given that part, the Painful Divorce is just... another thing that happens in the life of Mike Weiss. Despite the weighty subject matter, the film just sort of ambles along from scene to scene, from event to event, and there was something very real about it as a result. Not omgdramatic, but still engaging and gripping. And dammit, yes, you can't help but like the guy and feel a profound sense of shock when the inevitable happens just at the moment when you were maybe starting to love him a little.

In summary then, on the Chris Evans scale:
Beard: yup
Shirtlessness: check
Watchable: totally
Essential: I'm going to say yes

Sadly, no gratuitous shots of Chris Evans Putting Food Into His Mouth, but you can't have everything.


May. 4th, 2014 12:50 pm
tencrush: (chris beard porn)
I seem to be developing a slight obsession with watching Chris Evans Putting Food In His Mouth.

I'm sure there's some orally fixated niche tumblr or something that caters to me, isn't there?

If there is, please, by all means, point me at it.

tumblr_mf7tsvj4Ig1rmm7p6o6_r1_250 tumblr_mf7tsvj4Ig1rmm7p6o2_250

tumblr_n3bhfvOP6B1t1bpugo4_250 tumblr_m4njaa9n6J1qhekpro4_250

tumblr_mf7tsvj4Ig1rmm7p6o1_250 tumblr_mf7tsvj4Ig1rmm7p6o5_r3_250

Maybe I should start one? I don't know how tumblr works. Is that a problem?

tencrush: (chris beard porn)
THEY JUST DON'T MAKE SCI-FI LIKE THEY USED TO. Except when Danny Boyle totally does. Yeah... so I watched Sunshine again, and did indeed come to the conclusion that it is the most underrated and one of the very best sci-fi films of the past decade, or perhaps even longer. Yeah, even with the ending.

I forget sometimes that sci-fi wasn't always all camp Starship Troopers or aged action heroes punching meteors in the face. Sometimes it was clever and philosophical and character driven and made you think. And beautiful as fuck. Sunshine is all of those things, trust me.


I TALK ABOUT SUNSHINE A LOT (yes of course there's gratuitous pictures of Chris Evans) )
Am I overthinking Sunshine? Probably, I do have that tendency, but man, I think it's a classic. I think it's a must see sci-fi film for anyone who even vaguely knows sci-fi films.

Also, Chris Evans is in it. Chris Evans is hot.

tencrush: (french steve)
Those eyelashes.


Dude, how are you even REAL and not grown in a lab? I don't even. What.


tencrush: (rory distracting)
I am bingewatching Chris Evans movies, but only those that are worth my time, so not, you know, Not Another Teen Movie and that kind of shit.

Seriously, I love me some dystopia and grubby postapocalyptic Gilliamesque nonsense, so it was kind of inevitable I would love this. Everyone in it is awesome, Evans is gruff and awesome, Swinton is kerazee awesome, Hurt is Hurt, Harris is creepy awesome, the father and daughter are awesome, seriously this is an awesome film. I wanted to watch it again as soon as it was over, just to, like, properly get it. And then maybe watch it again for things I missed. And then maybe write some sort of dissertation about what everything meant. And then just watch it one more time with my brain off and just appreciate the hell out of Chris' beard for two hours. Most people I know will probably hate it.

Oh, Jamie Bell. It saddens me that Chris Evans and Jamie Bell apparently didn't have enough heart to heart chats on set in which Chris could have advised Jamie on the pros and cons of doing a Fantastic Four movie.


Don't do it, Jamie Bell! Seriously, nothing good can ever come out of doing a Fantastic Four movie. They are inevitably awful, but do well, forcing you to do another one, or maybe even two. BE WARNED.

ETA: I have also watched Sunshine, but I need to watch it again, because it took me far too long to realise that I should be watching it as an Evans/Murphy Mace/Capa buddy movie, with Evans being the sensible, down-to-earth one and Murphy slowly going batshit insane. I only realised this at the end, when it dawned on me that Pinbacker might NOT ACTUALLY BE THERE. I think that's my take on it, anyway. I am totally wrong about that, but it's the interpretation that worked for me on first viewing. Also: Evans is golden in it. For reals, I can see why it's his favourite. It made me want to rewatch Event Horizon as well, so there's that. In fact, the amount of films currently on my To Watch list, purely for reasons vaguely to do with Chris Evans is pretty high. First there's Sunshine again, simply because I can't work out if it's the greatest sci-fi film of the past decade or if it's a bit of a letdown what with the ending. That will make me want to watch Moon again because Sam Rockwell (I enjoyed the hell out of Better Living through Chemistry recently as well, by the way, that was a cute flick, and All Hail The King, the MARVEL short, which is the best one shot they've ever done and funny as fuck. Lovely drugs. Enough Sam Rockwell, I digress.) ANYWAY, by that time London will probably have arrived in my postbox (yes, not only am I watching only the most obscure Chris Evans movies, I am actually purchasing them through legal channels, wonders will never cease, but I found a place that has EVERYTHING and sends it to me within 24 hours) and then Snowpiercer. Again. Because it's brilliant.

In conclusion: Beard.

tencrush: (chris beard porn)


Posting a picture of Chris w/glasses because hipster!Steve. Hipster!Steve is better than anything in the world.


Apr. 6th, 2014 08:38 am
tencrush: (chris beard porn)


I cried a little when I saw this. Okay, no I cried a lot. YOU WILL BE AVENGED, BEARD.


Apr. 1st, 2014 11:57 am
tencrush: (chris beard porn)
Still my favourite Avengers scene, more so now that I know Cap's sitting like that because Evans was doing Snowpiercer at the time and had a pasteded out beard.


It's like, Avengers, with the added bonus of Chris Evans' beard being in it. May start a petition to have the beard featured in Cap3.



Though, to be fair, the picture above is accompanied in my head by Eric Cartman shouting "BEEFCAAAKE!" at me.


Mar. 30th, 2014 02:00 pm
tencrush: (chris beard porn)
Chris Evans' beard makes me go unfff.


By which I mean that I totally would, but only when he has a beard. And yes, I realise I posted a picture of his arse the other day, I was overexcited about Captain America TWS. And possibly about his arse.

Damn he is a FINE specimen, dudes. Unfff.

Don't worry, it'll pass. These sort of things always do.


tencrush: (Default)

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