tencrush: (jackanto subtext)
A brief post about LOVE, like I promised. Or more specifically, about "I love you" and Children of Earth. I've heard from one of GDL's panels at DragonCon that there was a reciprocal "I love you" in Ianto's death scene in Day Four, but it removed at the request of JB and GDL. You may be surprised to know that I am GODDAMN HAPPY about that. That scene was fucking awful, man. It made me cry, yes, Ianto was soon to be dead, but Christ what a cringeworthy sappy piece of shit scene that was. I was upset at the time that there WASN'T an "I love you" from Jack in that scene, I'll admit, but my actual upset wasn't about those words and that moment, it was about the fact that there wasn't anything even remotely approaching a relationship in which those words could have been spoken up until that scene.

What Children of Earth did, for me, above anything else, was tell me that I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG. Way back when, when I started thinking that Jack/Ianto was a bit squicky, and I talked and I talked and I talked and people talked to me, and everyone started convincing each other that we should be reading between the lines and there was more to their emotional bond than we were being shown, all that stuff was thrown out the window in Days One to Four of Children of Earth. There wasn't. There hadn't been. And so all those thoughts I had back then, that Jack was essentially fucking an employee, not really giving anything back emotionally, despite the fact that that employee, who was younger, less experienced, emotionally broken and vulnerable, was very obviously falling in love with him, all that stuff was true. My inklings and instincts that Jack was being a user and was, in fact, a bit of a dick, that really was the case. Not only was there nothing going on, emotionally, in Series One or Two, but when that subject did start coming up in CoE, it was shot down, their interactions became hugely uncomfortable to watch, and a sudden redemption on that front on Ianto's deathbed did absolutely nothing to change that. Too little, too late. It made me hate Jack, far more than I'm sure it was meant to, but it did. I'm glad Jack didn't say "I love you", it would probably have made me hate him even more.

The reason all this stuff still bothers me is pretty simple. I had these bad feelings about Jack during S2 of Torchwood, this inkling that he used people and acted like an arsehole, and used his immortality as an excuse, in his own head, anyway, for how he treated mere mortals emotionally. For me, those feelings were confirmed in CoE when the big, climactic, dramatic drama happened. And the thing is, I have these same feelings about the Doctor. Well, no, not the Doctor, Ten, specifically. This niggling feeling that he's been acting like a dick, and that he uses his emo as an excuse to treat people like shit. In fact with the Doctor it's far less niggling, and far more blatant. I don't want to feel this way about the Doctor, and I'm very, very afraid that, as with Jack, these things will come into play in the final furlong. I DO NOT WANT.

I never really cared about the fact that I disliked Jack, Jack's not a big deal, but the Doctor? I watch this shit with my kid, man, I don't want to have him squeeing over monsters and sonic screwdrivers and TARDISes while I sit by on the sofa and fume and cringe and hate Ten. I don't want all this serious manpain in Who, and I certainly don't want these HINTS of serious manpain and emotional retardation to become CANON. I don't mind hints, I don't mind it when I can read things into this kiddie show, I like being given ambiguity and subtext, things to enjoy on another level while my child hides behind the sofa, that's all great, it's cool. Actual canonical emo and manpain and emotional manipulation? Not so much.

I hear a lot of people saying that it sounds like Moffat's tenure might be a bit much in the way of jelly babies and crappy monsters and silliness. GOOD. I, for one, cannot wait for this development. Bring it on. And Russell? Go make SRSDRAMA somewhere else. I won't be watching.

ETA: LOL, though. I've been criticising Russell T Davies for like two years now, and what was my major complaint about Jack/Ianto? It was Russell, you're not doing a very good job of showing us a relationship between two equals that isn't mildly emotionally abusive and isn't primarily about sex. I was totally wrong. He did a great job of showing us a relationship that wasn't between two equals, was mildly emotionally abusive and was primarily about sex. Russell is, in fact, very good at his job. Who would have thought?

tencrush: (iantobutton)
Just tidied up and did the ole shrink/expand on my Friendslist. All of which served to remind me that I really must get a few things off my chest in that respect.

I'm not a fandom person. I've never considered myself to be a part of any "fandom", I'm actually kind of vague as to what the term encompasses. I don't go to conventions, I hardly ever read tie-in novels, I stay away from fanfiction unless I'm hugely bored and it promises to be A)hilariously funny or B)pornographic in the extreme. I hate RPS/F and I hate photomanips, I don't see the point of fanart and, seriously, I don't ship. (AhA! But what about Jack/Ianto? I hear you cry. Yeah, I love their bumsexual relationship, it pleases me. Mostly, it pleases me to analyse the way it's portrayed onna telly. If they break up tomorrow I will care not a jot. I enjoy viewing it as an outsider, and I like exploring the messages it's sending when it comes to televised canon gay relationships, because I think it's an important thing to look at. Apart from that, I'm kind of meh. Its existence gives me great luls, oh yes. But I don't ship it.) People tell me lately that I'm a big loud voice in Torchwood fandom. Really? Cool. You're talking to me, right? Umm... okay. I can go with that.

I recently dropped a few comms from my watchlist because I realised that I just don't read them. They were all Who-related. I've come to realise a few things about Who fandom, but the main thing is that I care not for the drama. Plenty of people do, and I'm not saying it's pointless or it's not something that other people should care about, but I have come to realise that I, personally, just don't care. I don't want to get involved, I don't want to bitch about people, I don't want to judge people based on who they ship, who they like, who their friends are, how old-skool or nu-skool they are, I just simply don't care. I don't care for wank, I don't read fandom_wank, I don't read who_anon, I don't read fandom_secrets because I simply do not care. And I'm not saying I'm above it or anything, far from it, I could easily participate because I can be quite the bitch if I want to be, I'm just saying I am not interested, I have other things I enjoy spending my time on more than reading about who hates whom and who is wrong about this, that or indeed the other. If you want to read my LJ and talk to me and do whatever, then please do, because I like talking to people. But seriously? Who fandom scares me, and I'm glad I'm not particularly involved in it. I love Who, I really do. I love all my friends who are into Who and consider themselves a part of Who fandom, I love writing and debating about Who, though I don't much anymore lately, but if someone were to tell me I were an actual part of Who fandom, I'd be just a bit taken aback.

Which brings me to the HAPPYBUBBLE that is Torchwood fandom. That thing I am apparently a part of. Guys? I LOVE YOU. Seriously. I'm getting all verklempt here, I haven't had this much fun talking to people about telly in years. And if there's bitching, I sure as hell am not aware of any. Oh, apart from that one time I think somebody bitched about me saying Ianto is fat. Well, up yours, I stand by my claim. Please, by all means, don't take this as an invitation to point out to me where there is possibly bitching, because I'll reiterate: I don't care. There is not a single person I have talked to on this journal in the past year that I would choose to bitch about. Disagree with, maybe, yeah, sure. But bitch about, no. You're all intelligent people with interesting opinions and ways of looking at things and vastly different life experiences and I think Torchwood peeps are a really great bunch. (So are Who peeps, don't get me wrong, but with Who I just feel slightly... outside looking in. Does that make sense? And I kind of like it that way.) So, yeah, if I have a voice in this fandom, I'm happy, because this fandom's actually pretty fucking cool. (I still think you should all join me in watching [livejournal.com profile] bone_kickers, but hey, who am I to tell you what to do? But you should. Really. It's a bad, bad show. Really bad.)

I'm sure I had a point of some sort. I don't recall what it was. Umm... moar gay sex on my big gay show, kthnx. Will that do?

ETA: The reason I've been thinking about all this recently is that, talking on doctorwhoforum the past few days, I've come to realise what I've known all along: TORCHWOOD'S NOT THAT GOOD A SHOW. Seriously. It's not awful, but it could be FAR BETTER. AND YET, AND YET, AND YET... I can't tear myself away, I love it so much. How's that for pointless?

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