BAAAHHHH!!

[tencrush]

CAPSLOCKTIEM!

THE SHEER AMOUNT OF WHATTHEFUCKERY INDUCED BY THESE PICTURES,




(Gaaad! Jack's profile! It's hilarious.)

THE NEVER-ENDING MARY-SUE FIC THEY ARE ADVERTISING, AND THE WHAT-I-HOPE-TO-GOD-IS-A-12-YEAR-OLD-BUT-FEAR-MAY-WELL-BE-AN-ACTUAL-SO-CALLED-ADULT-WHAT-WROTE-IT HAS MADE ME DEFRIEND torchwoodcoffee FOR GOOD. I JUST CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE.



Actually, I lie, it's that and this one:



Because I need a fucking 500 chapter crossover fic like I need a fucking hole in my head. And no, I don't know what animated awfulness it is crossing Torchwood over with, nor do I wish to. In fact, if you even dare attempt to tell me I will shun you forever.

All names have been removed to protect the delicate sensibilities of the artistes involved.



THE PURPLE MAKES ME ANGRY. Come back, black, I miss you!!

Yeah, yeah, I know, this is the sort of thing I should post on the anonmeme, because that's where you're supposed to bitch about people and their godawful fic because then you can pretend you're not you, and are therefore nicer than you actually are. Or something. Hey, whatever. Sue me.

Comments

[forgiveninasong.livejournal.com]

Oh god, that last one. Kills me EVERY TIME I see it. It really is about 80 chapters or something. 80 CHAPTERS OF SHITE.

D:

[tencrush]

KILLITKILLITKILLIT!!!

here is an appropriate use of Captain Andy!

[forgiveninasong.livejournal.com]

I mean, I'm all for AUs and stuff, (I read a really fucking *amazing* one recently, completely loved, 12 chapters +epilogue and prologue, GOOD!), but to cross over with CARTOONS?!??!! Torchwood is crazy, we all don't deny that, but that's just *too* weird, you know?

KILLITDEAD.

[noneinnyet.livejournal.com]

I had actually never seen that first one before so thanks for that. That second one makes me grind my teeth every time I see it. I really wish people would stop making bad banners for their epic-length fics. I'd be more likely to give the fic a chance in the first place and if I decided I didn't like it then it would no longer be screaming its existence in my face.

Also, I don't care if you bring back the black, I only hope that you keep some version of Ianto with a gigantic gun.

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

Ianto's in it, so I can't tell them to stop post them. Sorry :/

[tencrush]

I KNOW!! I don't blame you, I LOVE YOU, but I've just had enough.

(You could get hardcore on their arses and banninate fic advertising banners? Let's face it, how many actual GOOD fic writers would be offended or even affected by such a ban?)

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

I will think about setting a maximum size, it's frelling with people's layouts, I guess.

[tencrush]

Has anyone ever told you you're way too nice. BAN THEM I SAY!!!

:p

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

It's time for a modly post anyway - will do one and include a poll if I find the brainpower once I'm home

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

The horror... the horror....

Who's the crazy-eye bitch in the first thing? She is SO not Who material.

[tencrush]

Megan Fox from Transformers? I believe it means the authoress believes she bears a resemblance to Megan Fox from Transformers, though I'm sure she more resembles that grumpy bitch from Eastenders in the second picture. Having said that, I'd put money on her not actually looking like either of those ladies, though maybe someone once told her that she looked a bit like that grumpy bitch from Eastenders if you squint and it's dark.

[mellacita.livejournal.com]

Even worse. A quick glance suggests it's Jack and Ianto's daughter who looks like Megan Fox. Although daughters in fanfic tend to be massive self-inserts, anyway...

*shudder*

[tencrush]

Actually, looking at it again, the woman I'm calling the grumpy Bitch from Eastenders may well also be Megan Fox from Transformers. And not Stacey (I've just remembered her name!) at all. If so, Stacey from Eastenders bears an uncanny resemblance to Megan Fox from Transformers. Neither of whom look like the chick what wrote the fic.

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

And I wouldn't trust the universe with any of them.

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

And one of them is using white text for her header - impossible to read against my gray background. (You probably didn't even realize it was there.)

*snip* *snip*

ETA: I'd love to know your thoughts on this: http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/tv/a162535/ten-torchwood-teasers.html (Spoilers for COE - one of them has the potential for hilarity. :P )

[tencrush]

Yeah, I'll probably do a post on those laters. (Which one has the hilarity?)

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

#9 makes my mind go to bad places - MPREG and "Ianto's katra." (I'm sure it applies to Gwen literaly, so I can't help going to the same place with Jack. What else could it be?)

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

Reading back over it, I think they're referring to solely the first of the five episodes - so, nothing new. And, no mystery to what's IN Jack. (Now I can go back to my humorless expectation of Ianto's death. :/ )

[tencrush]

Yes, that's what I assumed. They've seen episode one and heard some spoilers for the rest.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

When is the Torchwood happening and why is Toshiko still dead?

[tencrush]

The radio plays are this week, the 5 episodes are every weeknight next week. And Tosh is still dead, and after next week probably Ianto, too.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

I thought Ianto was immortal via sexual transmission?

[tencrush]

Perhaps. The wise money, however, is on Long-Awaited Emo Declaration Of Manlove Followed By Heroic But Probably Ultimately Pointless Self-Sacrifice. It was written by Rusty himself, after all.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

Oh dear :/

[santousha.livejournal.com]

I second your 'Oh dear'

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

*skritches hed* Now there are a few heroic self-sacrifices by supporting characters in RTD scripts, according to my handy list o' corpses, but the only major character to off themselves for the greater good was Astrid. On the whole, his characters are much more likely to be eaten by grues. So I say unto thee: ?

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

When anime crossovers with real, are the real characters cartoons or the cartoon characters real?

[santousha.livejournal.com]

0_o

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

"Jack touched Ianto with his four-fingered hand and hit him with an ACME mallet."

[santousha.livejournal.com]

4 fingers? ACME mallet?
um,... 0_o

I'm really not regretting removing most of the tw comms from my flist. I only kept torch_wood and the daily for the news and discussions. Made my fandom life much easier.

[morebliss.livejournal.com]

"Meep Meep", said Ianto.

[meleth.livejournal.com]

WHO THE FUCK IS THAT.

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

is that the girl from the 'transformers' movie?

[little-iago.livejournal.com]

Yep. That pic of Megan Fox was cropped from a publicity photo that's been all over Google news promoting the movie. If you're going to pick some beautiful actress to represent your Mary Sue at least choose a less popular and topical photo to steal. Sueish and lazy, sheesh!

[rallyemadartep.livejournal.com]

i took one look at the that first one and ran straight back out of the fandom.

i really don't like banners, it just detracts from the story for me.....although it does help me stay away from the numerous mpregs floating round.

[little-iago.livejournal.com]

The cartoon in question comes from an anime/manga called Fake. No really, that's the title. It's a story of two detectives fighting crime in New York city and a love story of the "I'm-a-man's-man-but-I-love-your-cock" ilk popular throughout the genre. And it makes the fangirls wet their panties.

Oh, and the one to the right of Jack is Japanese...it should be obvious by his golden hair... 0_o

In other words, it's bad slash fic with a price tag on the cover.

[kelspots.livejournal.com]

The best part about this post: right underneath it in my flist was a post with that second banner!

Also, I almost scrolled right past *your* post without another glance, because that's what I do to those authors' posts.