STOP THIS MADNESS

[tencrush]

Okay, look, this hipster hobo thing doesn't work on me, alright?



BUT, I will say the following about Sebastian Stan, who would appear to have taken over Loki's crown as Tumblr's crazed and somewhat inexplicable fangirl obsession, he looks like he would be:

A) A hilarious drunk.



B) A guaranteed great night out, probably ending in arrest.



C) Really dirty in bed.



And his utter ubiquitousness in fannish circles at the moment has made me grown accustomed to his face and now, maybe 5% of the time and only from certain angles, I can get with people finding him hot. And maybe agree. But only when I'm hormonally challenged and having one of those days where I'm in the mood for something really, really sleazy.

ETA: I am watching Not Another Teen Movie, because it is on telly. I did not actively seek out Not Another Teen Movie, nor do I have the strength to resist Not Another Teen Movie if it is thrust upon me. So here, I am, finally succumbing to Not Another Teen Movie. I need help.

Comments

[off_coloratura]

He's kind of hot as the Mad Hatter.











And LOOK AT THAT FACE.

[off_coloratura]

AND ALSO I SAY TO YOU


GUH.
*mic drop*

[tencrush]

Guh. Bucky. Argh. I should not find this man hot, he is ridic. But it's a dirty bad wrong sleazy kind of hot, like a hot boy in a mediocre rock band who does you in a toilet. Not that I have ever known anyone like that. Probably.

[off_coloratura]

He cleans up nice though, eh? Esp in a period uniform. I have seldom seen hotter in 1940s uniform. And he rocks a hat.

[tencrush]

He does rock a hat, not a lot of people rock a hat, especially not an oversized 1940's or mad hatter hat. That's probably the basis of his casting in OUAT.

[off_coloratura]

Well, that, and he can do Menacing Ambiguously Gay.

[tencrush]

That's a useful skill.

[tencrush]

I just could not watch Once Upon A Time. I tried and failed. Is it that rare SebStan show where he's not constantly kissing boys? (Which I believe is probably the sole reason for the tumblr madness?)

[off_coloratura]

Oh, yeah, apparently he's gay and crying in a lot of his roles.

I agreem OUAT is hard to watch. Mediocre and redundant and oversimplified writing that is only redeemed for the most part by the AMAZING actors which the show patently does not deserve. I myself powered through OUAT, which got much better after Hook's arrival, but which is still pretty dreadful.

I am considering going back and watching all Sebastian's scenes again (and only those, the first season got pretty dire at times) simply because I don't feel like I appreciated him fully the first time around (because I was pretty done with the episodes after seeing them once.)

[tencrush]

I just didn't get it, it is some of the most awful writing I've seen on tv for a while, yet all these great people are in it and you're like WHY? They kind of stopped showing it here after season one.

The tumblr fangirls have probably made a SebReel from OUAT somewhere. I can probably piece together his part in animated gif form, if I can scroll past the boykissing and crying and hundreds of gifs of him doing things with his tongue.

[off_coloratura]

I haven't found one yet. If you find it, send me a link.

[tencrush]

WHAT ON EARTH MAKES YOU THINK I MIGHT EVEN BE LOOKING FOR ONE.

Ahem.

I'm pathetic.

[off_coloratura]

I'M THE SAP WHO'S WATCHED ALL THREE SEASONS OF OUAT FOR THAT IRISH BASTARD.

[tencrush]

Haha.

It's okay, I just watched Not Another Teen Movie for Chris Evans' adorable face.

[off_coloratura]

I want to watch that! Worth it?

[tencrush]

It's actually quite amusing as a parody of everything between John Hughes and American Pie. Chris rocks comedy pretty well, and gives good face. His sister constantly trying to get on his dick amused me far more than it should for his OHGODWTF reaction. And I always love Randy Quaid. Like I said, I didn't seek it out, but I'm glad I watched it since it was on.

[off_coloratura]

Watching it now and OMG TED MOSEBY!

[tencrush]

Yeah, Ted from Everybody Hates Ted is in it.

I was particularly fond of the slow clap guy.

[off_coloratura]

CHRIS SINGS IN IT! I had TOTALLY forgotten that, and not just Janie's Got A Gun, but like actual Musical Number singing!

[tencrush]

Yes. Yes, he does. He's so precious.

[off_coloratura]

Hee hee, speaking of Sebastian/Jefferson and That Irish Bastard, this is RTMI.

[tencrush]

Haha. I love it. See, if you just wait long enough, you don't have to endure these awful shows, some fangirl will put together a vid of every hot entrance/exit/closeup/tense moment of your object of desire and you can watch that instead. It's vastly preferable.

[off_coloratura]

Enh. I like the vids, but most of them don't include much talking, and his delivery is kind of awesome in places.

[tencrush]

I don't think Sebastian can make me watch OUAT. At least, I think not.

I am starting to doubt myself. His big hat, man.

[off_coloratura]

He's in 5 episodes total: 1.17, 1.21, 1.22, 2.2 and 2.3. I think I can manage that.

[tencrush]

ONLY FIVE EPISODES. Oh, I think I can manage that, I must have watched at least three episodes to start with, trying to give the show a chance to grow on me. Which it failed to do.

[off_coloratura]

Oops, he's also in 2.5, but only as the Mad Hatter, not Jefferson. Stupid wiki.

[off_coloratura]

I watched "Hat Trick" (1x17) yesterday. I remember it being different from all the other OUAT episodes, like a horror movie had suddenly taken over the show, and it didn't disappoint. A pretty good episode, and creepy as hell. And best of all, it is wall-to-wall-Sebastian Stan. I'd recommend that if nothing else.

[tencrush]

I will attempt it.

[tencrush]

Watching it now. Asdfnghngh. There's trousers. And he licks his lips a lot and he's really creepy. Shit, he's turning me on, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME.?

[off_coloratura]

AHAHAHAHA MY EVIL PLAN IS WORKING
He licks his lips a lot in general. I've noticed quite a few fic writers who have picked up on that.

[tencrush]

He constantly licks his lips and pokes his tongue out of them in general. It's his thing. It's FASCINATING.

He still looks dirty to me, that seems to be what my attraction is based on. Really dirty.

[off_coloratura]

I agree.

[tencrush]

Nghnghng. Okay, he was hot in that. Imma have to watch the rest of his eps now. I love you, Google Drive.

He rocks the tight pants like a cheap manwhore in an indie band.

[off_coloratura]

He does, doesn't he?

Though the ascots don't really suit him. He doesn't have enough of a chin and they make him look a little froggy, which on a slim bastard like him is a CRIME.

[tencrush]

Yeah there are aspects of the skinny jeaned victorian goth look that don't work on him. And then are aspect that do work. Very well. On my pants.

[off_coloratura]

He does have nice legs.

[tencrush]

They're long and all over the place. I like that in a man. And his hands are distracting. And he's an interesting mover, I noticed that in CATWS with that fucking assassin strut of his and I noticed it in this too, I wouldn't mind Bucky!Cap just because I'm curious now how Bucky!Cap would fight.

[off_coloratura]

And he does act pretty swishy in OUAT, but he's got a daughter, so presumably there was a woman at some point. He doesn't really have a romantic interest that I remember, though he did creep on Emma a few times.