PHONE!IANTOE PICSPAM - part the first
Feb. 28th, 2010 07:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tencrushAllright, allright, I did say I was going to do a picspam of the MOST AWESOME THING IN THE WORLD, and while I may have said that SIX BLOODY MONTHS AGO, that doesn't mean it's not on the cards RIGHT BLOODY NOW. I present to you Part One of a Multi-Part series in which I picspam the most awesome thing in the world, the title of which kind of gives away what that most awesome thing might be. It is called:
IANTO JONES IS ON THE PHONE
Yeah, so, obviously, the most awesome thing in the world is Ianto Jones. Even more awesome than Ianto Jones, is Ianto Jones on the phone. Okay, so that's a reasonably specific and kind of weird fetish for me to be throwing out there at you all, but bear with me. It's hawt. Let's press on:
I forgot how much Ianto is actually NOT in series one of Torchwood. This, in Cyberwoman, is the first instance we see of Ianto on the phone. Immediately, Ianto's later fate becomes apparent by the dog-on-face moment right here (no, I don't own the dvds, sue me). BBCTHREE on your head is never a good sign. But yeah, look, Ianto on the phone! Doesn't he have weird feet? Have I mentioned that before? Anyways, here he is on the phone some more:
I think this is where he talks about how Jack was whining that his spunk tasted of lager and fags and he should eat more veg or something? I was capping, guys, but I HAD THE SOUND OFF. Anyways, then Cyberwoman happens and Ianto does a lot of crying, but isn't actually on the phone, which is what we're here to see. So we shall move along.
Ianto isn't, in fact, on the phone again until:
They Keep Killing Suzie. Where he's not only ON the phone, but actually FIXES the phone! He's so technically competent.
And then he gives it to Jack. And then Jack does the most plottastically far-fetched things with it, then they kill Suzie again and then there's that thing where Ianto smirks about a stopwatch. Those things are all interesting, but none of those things involve a phone.
Technically, this next thing doesn't really involve a phone either, but Ianto has so little screentime in the next few episodes that any sighting of him with his bluetooth headset in his ear is worthy of a screencap. He's in the background of Random Shoes for all of 30 seconds, so I thought I'd draw some attention to Ianto and his phone by jazzing the whole thing up a bit:
There you go.
Out of Time. Come on, it's Out of Time and Ianto's on an anachronistic phone! Lol! I wish I believed that there were people who planned it that way, but there ain't, it's just crazy coincidence. It's still funny, though.
Combat's a bit of a crappy episode, looking back, isn't it? Ianto has a phone, though. Yes, I know, the Ianto-phone links are getting just a tad tenuous at this point, but please bear with me. He's pretty. Fuck me, he's pretty in series one, isn't he? Holy crap.
He's also on the phone:
Actually, I think he probably wasn't on the phone there, but like I said, the bluetooth headset TOTALLY COUNTS.
We now move on to Captain Jack Harkness. For the purposes of this picspam, I have to tell you that Ianto pretty much spends THIS ENTIRE EPISODE ON THE PHONE. Which is good, because it means I have to show you lots of stills. For the sake of completion, of course. What with this being a phone-based picspam. The fact that this shirt-waistcoat-tie combo thing is... well... you know...
It's, ummm... yeah...
I mean it's just a shirt and a waistcoat and a tie and, obviously, the picspam is about the phone, and not about the... what?
Yes... hello, what?
Sorry, I had to leave for some private time. Where was I? It's about the phone. Really. It is.
[Iantoes serious fayce]Yes, Whelk. It's about the phone. I believe you.[/Iantoes serious fayce]
Thank you, Ianto, at least someone does. Hey, Ianto... can you do phone fingers again for me?
Like this?
Yeah, like that. (I must point out at this junction that I don't really talk to the fictional character Ianto Jones in my head. Not much, anyway.) ONWARDS!
LOOK, IT SAYS TORCHWOOD! I'll bet you an Earth pound that Ianto's fucking cock has the word TORCHWOOD tattooed across it. Which is only of interest when it's erect, obviously. In its usual flaccid state, it just has a big, black stain on one side. YOU'RE A FUCKING WEIRDO, IANTO JONES.
PHONE FINGERS SOME MORE!
AND AGAIN!!
Ianto finds the amount of caps I have chosen to take from this episode disturbing. Well, you know what? Ianto can SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Hello? I can't hear you, let me do phone fingers again.
Ah... finally Ianto stops doing phone fingers and segues into tight-lipped-determination-or-maybe-disbelief-while-wearing-phone-headset. Bless him.
He's still wearing the headset so this cap is allowed. Before you even start. This cap, by the way, reminds me how often Ianto does this watery-eyed just-about-to-cry-from-the-pressure-of-it-all look. I think this look is why a lot of people perceive him as a bit of a whingy, crying girl, this despite the fact that Ianto cried about three times on screen, compared with Jack's bajillion tears of woe. I digress.
Embossed headset? Check.
Embossed gun? Check.
Biggest embossed cock in the room? Check.
Right, time to shoot Owen. Heh.
I love it when Ianto shoots Owen. No, he's not on the phone, I know. Who cares?
Ianto is also NOT ON THE PHONE in End of Days, so headsets will have to do:
I've-just-stunned-a-weevil-headset
Gwen's-doing-that-face-get-me-out-of-here-headset
Conflicted-headset.
AND THEN THERE'S A BAD CGI MONSTER AND THEN JACK COMES BACK AND THERE'S KISSING AND THEN THE TARDIS.
Yeah, so I sort of flew through those last few stills, simply because everything pales in comparison to CJH. Phone-wise, I mean. Yeah. PHONE-WISE *wink*.
And that was that for Series One of Torchwood, and Ianto's phonesex shenanigans.
Stay tuned for part two, in which there is INVISIPHONE! and PRETENDSARCASTICPHONE! and MUCH, MUCH MORE. And also, let's face it, there's a wee bit more of Ianto to love in Series 2. Just sayin'.
IANTO JONES IS ON THE PHONE
Yeah, so, obviously, the most awesome thing in the world is Ianto Jones. Even more awesome than Ianto Jones, is Ianto Jones on the phone. Okay, so that's a reasonably specific and kind of weird fetish for me to be throwing out there at you all, but bear with me. It's hawt. Let's press on:
I forgot how much Ianto is actually NOT in series one of Torchwood. This, in Cyberwoman, is the first instance we see of Ianto on the phone. Immediately, Ianto's later fate becomes apparent by the dog-on-face moment right here (no, I don't own the dvds, sue me). BBCTHREE on your head is never a good sign. But yeah, look, Ianto on the phone! Doesn't he have weird feet? Have I mentioned that before? Anyways, here he is on the phone some more:
I think this is where he talks about how Jack was whining that his spunk tasted of lager and fags and he should eat more veg or something? I was capping, guys, but I HAD THE SOUND OFF. Anyways, then Cyberwoman happens and Ianto does a lot of crying, but isn't actually on the phone, which is what we're here to see. So we shall move along.
Ianto isn't, in fact, on the phone again until:
They Keep Killing Suzie. Where he's not only ON the phone, but actually FIXES the phone! He's so technically competent.
And then he gives it to Jack. And then Jack does the most plottastically far-fetched things with it, then they kill Suzie again and then there's that thing where Ianto smirks about a stopwatch. Those things are all interesting, but none of those things involve a phone.
Technically, this next thing doesn't really involve a phone either, but Ianto has so little screentime in the next few episodes that any sighting of him with his bluetooth headset in his ear is worthy of a screencap. He's in the background of Random Shoes for all of 30 seconds, so I thought I'd draw some attention to Ianto and his phone by jazzing the whole thing up a bit:
There you go.
Out of Time. Come on, it's Out of Time and Ianto's on an anachronistic phone! Lol! I wish I believed that there were people who planned it that way, but there ain't, it's just crazy coincidence. It's still funny, though.
Combat's a bit of a crappy episode, looking back, isn't it? Ianto has a phone, though. Yes, I know, the Ianto-phone links are getting just a tad tenuous at this point, but please bear with me. He's pretty. Fuck me, he's pretty in series one, isn't he? Holy crap.
He's also on the phone:
Actually, I think he probably wasn't on the phone there, but like I said, the bluetooth headset TOTALLY COUNTS.
We now move on to Captain Jack Harkness. For the purposes of this picspam, I have to tell you that Ianto pretty much spends THIS ENTIRE EPISODE ON THE PHONE. Which is good, because it means I have to show you lots of stills. For the sake of completion, of course. What with this being a phone-based picspam. The fact that this shirt-waistcoat-tie combo thing is... well... you know...
It's, ummm... yeah...
I mean it's just a shirt and a waistcoat and a tie and, obviously, the picspam is about the phone, and not about the... what?
Yes... hello, what?
Sorry, I had to leave for some private time. Where was I? It's about the phone. Really. It is.
[Iantoes serious fayce]Yes, Whelk. It's about the phone. I believe you.[/Iantoes serious fayce]
Thank you, Ianto, at least someone does. Hey, Ianto... can you do phone fingers again for me?
Like this?
Yeah, like that. (I must point out at this junction that I don't really talk to the fictional character Ianto Jones in my head. Not much, anyway.) ONWARDS!
LOOK, IT SAYS TORCHWOOD! I'll bet you an Earth pound that Ianto's fucking cock has the word TORCHWOOD tattooed across it. Which is only of interest when it's erect, obviously. In its usual flaccid state, it just has a big, black stain on one side. YOU'RE A FUCKING WEIRDO, IANTO JONES.
PHONE FINGERS SOME MORE!
AND AGAIN!!
Ianto finds the amount of caps I have chosen to take from this episode disturbing. Well, you know what? Ianto can SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Hello? I can't hear you, let me do phone fingers again.
Ah... finally Ianto stops doing phone fingers and segues into tight-lipped-determination-or-maybe-disbelief-while-wearing-phone-headset. Bless him.
He's still wearing the headset so this cap is allowed. Before you even start. This cap, by the way, reminds me how often Ianto does this watery-eyed just-about-to-cry-from-the-pressure-of-it-all look. I think this look is why a lot of people perceive him as a bit of a whingy, crying girl, this despite the fact that Ianto cried about three times on screen, compared with Jack's bajillion tears of woe. I digress.
Embossed headset? Check.
Embossed gun? Check.
Biggest embossed cock in the room? Check.
Right, time to shoot Owen. Heh.
I love it when Ianto shoots Owen. No, he's not on the phone, I know. Who cares?
Ianto is also NOT ON THE PHONE in End of Days, so headsets will have to do:
I've-just-stunned-a-weevil-headset
Gwen's-doing-that-face-get-me-out-of-here-headset
Conflicted-headset.
AND THEN THERE'S A BAD CGI MONSTER AND THEN JACK COMES BACK AND THERE'S KISSING AND THEN THE TARDIS.
Yeah, so I sort of flew through those last few stills, simply because everything pales in comparison to CJH. Phone-wise, I mean. Yeah. PHONE-WISE *wink*.
And that was that for Series One of Torchwood, and Ianto's phone
Stay tuned for part two, in which there is INVISIPHONE! and PRETENDSARCASTICPHONE! and MUCH, MUCH MORE. And also, let's face it, there's a wee bit more of Ianto to love in Series 2. Just sayin'.
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Date: 2010-03-01 09:48 am (UTC)Your picspam inspired me and I found this icon!