More yuck...

[tencrush]

• Had my stitches taken out today, as the they still hadn't dissolved and the midwife offered. That feels MUCH BETTER, thank you. I didn't realise how badly they were bothering me.


• My nipples aren't really falling off, but it feels like they are. The child is evil, and needs constant poking to latch on properly and not all half-arsed. Beckett was the same. I realise that means it's actually probably some nippular problem on my part, but fuck 'em, blame the children, I say.


• Positive news from the mouth of my mother, part one:
  Yes, she said this morning, I too got a hemorrhoid when I pushed you out, and I STILL HAVE IT TODAY. THANK YOU, MOTHER, for that insight, that's really made my day.


• Hilarious addendum:
  She then went on to say, "It's just there, it's never been painful or bothered me, nor has it ever bothered anyone else." Now I realise that I'm a pretty dirty minded person, and I know that what I inferred from that statement is NOT, in fact, what she was trying to say, but I'm telling you they haven't made enough brainsoap for me to deal with that one. I've had to have a lie down for the rest of the day.

Comments

[off_coloratura]

I'm obviously irretrievably gutter-minded, because I have no idea what else she might have meant.

[tencrush]

Taken in context, I think she meant to imply "and who else is it going to bother, you DISGUSTING girl, I mean, seriously, it's not like it's going to bother anyone else, is it? IS IT?"

Which is more along the lines of the sort of thing my mother would imply.

I think it just came out wrong.

[off_coloratura]

So, so very wrong.