OH! Wait!

[tencrush]

Oh! Wait, you know how in TRACKS, Simmons tells Coulson that he looks MUCH too young to be her father? What if that's just a big cluehammer and that kid called Phil from the 50's playing with the Captain America shield in the film IS Coulson, and he's older than we think? Older than he thinks? What if he's a SHIELD super soldier experiment gone AWOL? He loves old shit, dudes, think about it.

Comments

[off_c]

It would make him even more Jack-Harknessy.

And thus, I am for it.

[tencrush]

I have resigned myself to Phil's super status, it's hilariously inevitable. I am done with my rewatch, and I'm pretty convinced they've fucked with Phil's brain before, you say Tahiti, he says It's a Magical Place, you mention SHIELD and secrets, he says Trust The System, same response, same words, every time. I think his pre-SHIELD existence is an implant of some sort. I think he's a super soldier of some kind, and the surgeries were carried out to keep his brain alive while his body fixed itself, it's a pretty petite scar for that badass staff, I wouldn't be surprised if it disappears. Simmons gave him a physical and he was pretty much perfect, not perfect-given-the-shredded-heart thing, just perfect. That's not normal.

[tencrush]

Also, yeah, if that detail from Captain America is correct, it's pretty much the Whedons doing what someone elsewhere described as continuityporn, and I'm all for that. They seem to be doing a lot of it, Coulson played with that walkie-talkie watch several times, and mentioned it several times, and how rare it was, before he reluctantly sacrificed it for the greater good in ep 9. It was old, there were only twenty of them, and now it's got a big fat hole through the middle of it. If he could poke its brain, he'd probably revive the watch. They only made 20 of them, ffs. METAPHORS!

I need more sleep.

[off_coloratura]

You're a flippin' genius and it will all turn out to be true. Less fictitious kink, more sleep!

[tencrush]

If you'd heard my outlandish and super wrong theories around series 6 and 7 of Buffy, you wouldn't be calling me a genius, trust me. Whedon fucks with my brain.

Hiatuses make me weep. Hiati? Whatever.

[off_coloratura]

Have you been rewatching the movies and shorts too?

[tencrush]

Reluctantly. The dealio being the kids keep playing LEGO MARVEL Superheroes on the PS3, a game with which they sporadically need my assistance, so involves me sitting between them on the sofa while Coulson gives me hints and advice and makes inappropriate jokes about Black Widow (the lego games are pretty funny, and there are fucking hours of Gregg's deadpan monologuing in this one, it's totally distracting). So, Millie decided she wanted to watch the Marvel films, even though she's six, and I was all for it, because I am so sick of Star Wars, it's not even funny. Turns out, Millie, for six, is really into this stuff, and she's really hyper aware of the plot and the interpersonal relationships, where Beckett just goes 'yay, fight!', Millie's actually discussing themes with me and stuff. (Seriously, she ends up at the Avengers, telling me that Coulson's death may well work as a catalyst, and maybe the rest of them will start working as a team now, and I'm just looking at her thinking yeah, it's heavy-handed that one, but still, perceptive much?) Then she demands to see Thor again, and eventually we work out she has a six-year-old ladyboner for Loki. So now we're trying to wean her off again, because anything involving Loki has her humping the furniture. In conclusion, yes,way too much Marvel here, it's embarrassing. Still preferable to Star Wars. Also, apparently, the lego sets are way better, the kids keep telling me.

LEGO Coulson has a Captain America trading card and if you stop moving his guy in the game, he takes it out and strokes it lovingly. I often stop moving his guy just to watch that.

[off_coloratura]

Could not stop giggling at this entire thing. TRADING CARD.

Way to go Millie!

Also idly wondering if someone has exported Gregg's voiceovers from that game and U/Led them to YouTube so I can hear. I've already found one of his clips from Iron Man.

[tencrush]

Most of the v/o is instructional, but if you loiter around the helicarrier, he starts making announcements and cracking jokes. Millie, again, being the one who gets them, while Beckett goes huh? You ever want to see a six-year-old explaining to a nine-year-old why the signups for hand to hand combat drills with Black Widow are full, come to my house. She rolls his eyes at him like 'you know she has really nice boobs, right?'

D and I have both been guilty of overnurturing Millie's Marvel obsession, her room and tastes were going the way of the Disney Princess and I can't stand that shizz. We were both like, yes, fine, nerdify her, it's all good.

[off_coloratura]

You're clearly awesome parents.

[tencrush]

One of the purchasable costumes in the game was Tony Stark In His Underwear. Beckett said, look mummy, we bought you something, I was like, wait, what? They were all 'we thought you might like that one.' Then Beckett gave Coulson Captain America's shield and gave me the controller and said For you, mummy. I was all aww, thanks.

[off_coloratura]

HEH. They know you a little too well.

[tencrush]

They know enough to make me cringe, yes.

[tencrush]

Have you ever watched Coulson's one-shots? They're on the youtubez somewhere. 'The Consultant' is a bit hard to follow if you haven't seen Hulk, but it gives a bit of an insight into the inner workings of SHIELD, with Fury getting orders from the Council that he thinks are foolish, and then fobbing them off on Sitwell and Coulson, leaving them to improvise a way to make it seem like SHIELD is cooperating while at the same time achieving the goal of not doing what they ordered. 'A Funny Thing Happened...' is Coulson's missing scene between Iron Man 2 and Thor and is absolutely pointless and involves Coulson, donuts and tae-bo. It is somewhat adorkable and I recommend it.

[off_coloratura]

I have, and I rewatched Thor's Hammer again last night. I wanted to rewatch The Consultant too, but couldn't find it. Stupid Disney.