CHILDREN OF EARTH: DAY THREE

[tencrush]

• Okay, so this one was a bit weaker, but I don't think that's really Moran's fault, I think that's more down to its position in the narrative. We're all set up now, there's nothing more to introduce, this was pretty much the regrouping episode before the storm.


• Yesterday I thought Ianto might be okay. YET AGAIN WITH THE UNSUBTLE FORESHADOWING, not once but TWICE, and now I think he's totally dead again. And he'll probs die in today's ep. I'm going to be SOOO TENSE tonight, it's not even funny. I am buying extra alcohol.


• Jack and Ianto. Yah. Men, eh? You'd think they'd have TALKED ABOUT these sorts of things by now. One the one hand, I can understand that up until now Ianto's possibly been a bit hesitant to class this as a relationship, and hesitant to talk to Jack about it, but on the other hand, his sudden eagerness to talk and ask now, after the amount of time that's passed since, I don't know, let's say To The Last Man, it just seems a bit... weird and OOC. And just a tiny smidgeon like fanservice to have Ianto with the constant YOU WILL NOW CLARIFY WHERE WE STAND thing. It's a bit odd.


• COCKFUCKINGBLOCKED BY BEANS???? FUCK YOU AND YOUR FOOD RHYS!!!


• I have always surmised that out of the two, Ianto is the randier. I like that this was a work-like situation and again it's Ianto initiating contact, I like that because Jack initiating sex in a work situation would be squicky for me. And it's always been consistently Ianto and OMG THEY DO CONSISTENCY IN TORCHWOOD NOW WTF???


• That Lois with the contacts thing was a bit dramatic-tension-for-the-sake-of-it. I liked her solution of posing as his mistress, though.


• You know how I said I'd hate the alien? I actually don't mind the alien up to now. I like how communicating with it is just a nightmare and it's completely unclear whether it's understood you or it's just being stroppy or evil or what. I quite like that. That's quite a nice touch.


• Ummm... it's Jack's fault, right? It was a give-us-twelve-children-or-we-asplode-you situation and somehow earth did not adequately live up to the terms of that bargain, perhaps because Clem did not go? I read about "sanctions" and such, they're obvs. being punished. Probably for something Jack did, let's face it.


• I can't tell you how much Ianto knowing shorthand turns me on, and also how he buys a coat despite, say, being busy with the world ending. I hope my coat-and-coffee-buying-shorthand-knowing Ianto doesn't die, but instead finds this BIG MOTHERFUCKING GUN FROM THE PROMO SHOTS AND SAVES THE DAY IN AN UNDEAD MANNER. Damn you, Torchwood, for making me this nervous.


• Yeah, okay, let me add this point because jo02 mentioned it and it struck me as well, there seems to be a bit of a theme about Jack, the guy who has ALL THE TIME IN THE UNIVERSE, being dismissive towards Ianto in a way that I think he will come to regret. It started with Ianto's rather clumsy attempts to talk about their relationship in the first episode, which were all kind of handwaved away with I hate the word couple/not important/can't talk, busy type answers, when it was obvious that this, in spite of his failure to communicate, WAS important to Ianto. Now we get this seemingly humourous scene with the beans that somehow made me really sad, and the reason it made me sad was that underneath the beans there seemed to be a genuine "I've rescued you, I've taken care of everyone, I just want you to myself now for 30 minutes, please can you take charge and ARRANGE IT" tone to the conversation, that was met with "LOL, Rhys and his beans. Try again later, Ianto." Which, to me, seemed like Jack, again, just point blank refusing to acknowledge that Ianto might not have a later. Which, okay, maybe Jack's emotionally protecting himself there, but it's making him look like a dick, because OHREMEMBERTHATTHEMEDOCTOR?? you cannot use your immortality as an excuse to constantly shut people out, it's not fair unless you go live in a cave. Am I making sense still? What I mean to say is that it seems inevitable that Ianto will die in order to teach Jack this, because it's a theme of Russell's and it's been played out so many times now that it's RLY old, but I think it will be played out YET AGAIN.

Comments

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you how much Ianto knowing shorthand turns me on

Fantastic! I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

Goddamned beans.

[tencrush]

His l33t secretarial skillz have always been a big thing with me. WTF, though, who still knows shorthand these days? What are the odds? I think the whole shorthand thing was just put in to make Ianto look sexy. To me. Thank you, Moran.

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

The sexy secretary thing was the number one reason I was a little sorry he evolved into badass Torchwood agent #5 in series two. I mean, I did enjoy that, with the guns and the kicking ass, but I also shed a tear for the conservative white shirts and the clipboards and the "here's your coffee/scotch on the rocks/blowjob, sir." HOT.

[tencrush]

Nnngngnh. I miss that clipboard. I bet there was one in one of those bags. And lube.

[jo02]

You are such a bad influence on me.
As I watched the cock-blocked-by-beans scene, my first reaction was 'you smug bastard, Jack' - but my immediate second reaction was 'oh fuck, tencrush's right!, Ianto is so dead now and that was the last ever chance he had to have good-bye-sex with Jack!' Honest, I really did.
And all I've been thinking since I finished watching is Jack is such a bastard. His carefully blank face barely moved when Ianto sussed him out with the 'you'll see me die of old age and just carry on' line, and I wanted to hit him then, and that was before the beans came into it.
I was completely sympathetic when Ianto yelled at Clem after he said he smelled queer. After all, Ianto had to be the best ever wife by going out and finding Jack a new coat in absolute pristine condition straight from the wardrobe department by the look of it. And all he got was beans and insults.

[tencrush]

Ha! I just said that in YOUR journal!

It's Jack's kind of dismissiveness, and that "LOL ask again later, Ianto!" face that's just HAMMERING to me THERE IS NO LATER YOU FUCKING PRICK HE WANTS 30 MINUTES BE THE BOSS AND FUCKING ARRANGE IT. And that doesn't happen and... Ianto's so dead, dudes.

[jo02]

We are so on the same page with this - and I don't want to be on the same page when it comes to Ianto dying horribly after being rejected by Jack!

**arms flail wildly about**

[tencrush]

I have edited my post to add words of woe about Jack's dissin'.

[jo02]

I will desperately eat my words of woe if they will just spare Ianto so he can find an actual nice man to settle down with when this is all over - she says, shoving Andy forward as a good candidate.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

NOES he must make Jack a BETTER PERSON with his luffs.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

And he'll probs die in today's ep

I think if he dies it will be at the last minute and Shocking and stuff like that. Maybe it's all over and then Myfanwy swoops in to eat him dead.


I liked her solution of posing as his mistress, though.

Did she know that's what she was doing? Anyway it was a bit good.


Probably for something Jack did, let's face it.

"We have seen his arse on our television, we are Jack/Martha shippers, Earth must pay."

[tencrush]

WE DID FRAME ADVANCE AND THERE WAS COCK. NOW YOU DIE.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

ARE YOU GOING TO USE IT AGAINST PEOPLE?

[tigercheetah.livejournal.com]

Have I said that I love COE? This is how Torchwood should have been in the first place. Gwen is actually being awesome and the guest cast are being awesome and the story is awesome (if a little too convieniant sometimes *coughloiscough*

I hope we don't actually get to see the aliens, which is unlikely. Monsters can be scarier when you don't actually know what they look like, unless they're reallllly good.

But yeah, there's foreshadowing for Ianto's death everywhere. :( And damn Rhys and his beans. I'll be extra sad if Ianto dies without having had one last make-out session with Jack. And are we only getting the one kiss this series?

[(Anonymous)]

Do you still think after what you've see of CofE so far that if Ianto makes it into a 4th series alive he should get a girlfriend and ditch Jack? Because so far I've been disappointed with the relationship as portrayed this series even though the series itself is a vast improvement.

[kelspots.livejournal.com]

So, re: Clem's amazing sniffing gaydar. It seemed kind of out of nowhere but maybe that was the writers saying "See? We wouldn't resort to the tired old cliche of Ianto being gay-only-for-Jack. He just doesn't REALIZE he's gay. But Clem does. And his nose is always right, in case you've forgotten about his amazing sniffing pregdar."

Not that it will matter once Ianto is dead and Jack is all angsty about not taking the time to have one last roll in the warehouse with him.

[louisema.livejournal.com]

"amazing sniffing pregdar". Every woman should have one!

Do you reckon Ianto is like fairies in Peter Pan? If enough of us stand around drinking coffee and making smart quips for long enough in three-piece suits, he'll survive?

[crankyholly.livejournal.com]

I've decided that Ianto can't die until he gets one last shag with Jack, so no nookie = live Ianto. Hopefully there'll be too much action and no time for them to get away. The "you'll see me get old" bit doesn't bode well for him though.

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

Ianto was the randier in the "beans" scene, but I didn't really get the "gagging for it" vibe - that we were promised (by GDL?) - from either of them.

I suspect Jack isn't cosying up to Ianto a) for the setup you mentioned, and b) because, based on what little we've seen of his relationship with his daughter (and through her, his relationship with a past S.O.), he's probably sure Ianto will turn on him, start to hate him, because of the Forever Young thing. (But it's still weird that he seems to have lost most of his sense of humor and sex drive. And that's since before the "blown into a million tiny pieces" in E01 - which might put a damper on those tendencies.)

~~~

Based on the scenes given for E04, the 456 will look a bit like anteaters. The Big Reveal might disappoint as much as the predicted dead!Ianto. :/

[dick-grayson.livejournal.com]

OK, here's my latest cracked-out theory on Ianto (because voluntary retcon seems a bit too tame for how this series is playing out). I think it's very, very interesting that Lucia, another Torchwood employee conquest of Jack's, outlived her Torchwood service, which is considered a rare thing. Given that her story came up in the same episode where Ianto talks about dying of old age (as if he hasn't been around Torchwood long enough to see the handwriting on the wall), well, I'm just wondering if maybe Jack's cock does, in fact, have magical, life-giving properties. Because, otherwise, I really can't explain why Jack so readily went with Ianto's "you'll watch me die of old age" thing. Unless he really is that much of an uncaring, bad boyfriend, which, you know, quite possible.

It didn't help that Miss Johnson was speculating on whether Alice and Stephen could inherit Jack's immortality. And what is her title anyway? Agent, Lieutenant, Ma'am? Also, is it just me, or is it mildly amusing that her last name is a euphemism for cock, what with her swaggering around swingin' what she don't got? But I digress. It's clear that Johnson, Frobisher and company have absolutely no clue why Jack is immortal and thought it had something to do with the Hub. Even Jack didn't really know what happened to him until he saw the Doctor again after a gazillion years (or a century, whatever it was). And I'm not sure he understands it fully now. But if government people can believe that a Hub-fueled form of immortality can be genetically passed on, then why can't I believe that the Rose-fueled form of immortality can be transmitted through bodily fluids?

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

And what is her title anyway? Agent, Lieutenant, Ma'am?

"Bitchfuck".

[satanassa.livejournal.com]

Hey, I like Agent Johnson quite a lot. I know it's a terrible thing, but I almost LOL-d at the Day One scene in the morgue when she shot the just-revived Jack and he died again immediately!

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

That was fucking funny. :D The team have probably wanted to do that so many times. "Shut up, Jack!" Oh, come to think of it, Owen actually did that. lolololol

Agent Johnson considers "Bitchfuck" a term of respect. Also, it outranks "Hellqueen" and "Deathcow". Her concrete-pouring penis is bigger than yours.

[dick-grayson.livejournal.com]

I will be very unhappy if the suggestion in Episode 4 that Bitchfuck Johnson might actually be human, with a conscience and everything, comes true in Episode 5. That's right up there with the rewrite of sociopath John Hart into a Big Damn Hero. And don't even get me started on the fact that BJ (even her completely made up nickname invokes thoughts of cock -- where will it end?) is experiencing a change of heart based entirely on five minutes of exposure to Gwen Bloody Cooper. Surely she couldn't have thought her government was totally on the up-and-up until now? I mean, she's running around killing people on her own side, detaining a mother and her young son, and burying a man alive with her concrete-pouring penis, all sanctioned by the government. And now she's appalled that they might be handing over millions of innocent children to vomiting aliens? Come on.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

Their MANLY MAN non-conversation about Jack XPLODing made me laff.

Five bucks says Jack says, "I did what I had to (do)!"

[tencrush]

-I felt it.
-Shiiit.

Their emotional depth knows no bounds.

[forgiveninasong.livejournal.com]

I'm totally with you on the shorthand thing. I was like "....GUH!!!" when he said it.

Also, I do NOT want him to die, and I am refusing to think otherwise, probably until it happens and I'll cry for a week or seven.

Either he dies, or he somehow gets Retconned, which is a whole lot worse, seeing as his whole adult life has been about Torchwood (Canary Wharf and then Cardiff)