I'm not cut out for fandom...

[tencrush]

I have epic meta in my head about Ianto, but I can't seem to order my thoughts and I'm reluctant to write anything fandom related because I'm still in one of those moods where the words will come out all wrong and I'll end up coming across as a bitch or something. I honestly never set out to do that, but I do pretty much most of the time anyway, so there you go.

I'm still having this fume over who_anon for no real reason just because everyone on there seems to think it's full of luls and all I can see is a bunch of people finding reasons to point at and mock other people, and I really don't like it. The first time I was mentioned, when I was called an attention whore, I really didn't feel I'd done anything particularly attention-seeking that would deserve that kind of remark. I ended up getting really upset, not even really because of some anon with a grudge posting that shit, but because nobody bothered to step up in my defense either, so I figured everyone agreed and hated me. I actually debated deleting this journal for a bit, but figured that because of the thirty day change-your-mind thing, I'd probably just end up reinstating it and being called an attention whore over that instead. If you could instantly delete your journal I probably would have. Since then, I've been mentioned a few times, and I'll be honest, most of those times were when I did indeed post something reasonably wanky, I jumped in non-anon once or twice to defend myself, but then I stopped doing that as well. And now I've stopped reading it alltogether. WHICH IS FUCKING HARD, I must admit, the temptation to just mosey in is really high, but the last time I looked (yeah, I'll admit that was a day or two ago, AFTER I said I'd stopped reading it) all I saw, again, was people being shitty about other people.

And now that whole paragraph up there will just come across as bitchy, again, I'm sure. If you're on my flist and you're on the meme, good luck to you. I'm not calling anyone on it a bully (I don't really think it qualifies as bullying if you actively have to seek it out, surely? People will always bitch about other people, that's what people do. I totally get that, I just bitched about other people on this very journal, it's just the anon part I don't really understand.) or a Cult-of-Meanist or anything like that, I'm sure loads of you just go there and have a laugh and that's great, have fun, I'm not judging anyone, I'm really not. I just can't do it, I don't know why. I'm not really a fandom person, I guess, the whole culture just sort of flies over my head most of the time.

So yeah, I have this epic meta in my head about Ianto, but I can't order my thoughts and I think one of the reasons I can't order my thoughts is that my brain is asking itself Why would you want to write epic meta about a tv character anyways? I've reached one of those points in my fannish experience where I really cannot fathom the point of sharing out any opinion or theory about anything because it will just get read and commented upon and is that really what I want? Also, I can't order my thoughts because they're really unordered. And also, I know someone already made a list once of how many times Jack cries in Torchwood and could someone point me at it so I can stop with the rewatching every episode already? It's tiresome and I keep remembering how many episodes I actively dislike. FAIL.

LOL. I'm so crap.

Comments

[tigercheetah.livejournal.com]

I'm not terribly optimistic that the Jack/Ianto relationship will go the way that most Janto fans want it to but I am optimistic about Ianto's development in general. Not only has Gareth taken over from Burn Gorman as the semi-lead, the very fact that there's now only 3 members of Torchwood instead of 5, means that Ianto will HAVE to come into his own. And the partial destruction of the Hub means that Ianto has to be out and about at all times after episode 1.

What intrigues me the most - apart from Euros Lynn talking positively about Janto - is that Julie Gardner has made it clear on several occassions that the dynamics between Jack, Gwen and Ianto are going to change as a result of the loss of Owen and Tosh. It was probably one of their aims for Children of Earth right from the start. I think Gwen will continue to work her way up the ladder during series 3 - a future leader - but she'll sacrifice her relationships with Jack and Rhys as a result, which allows Jack and Ianto to get closer on whatever level that may be.

Gwen couldn't possibly get any more attention than she's already had. :)

[off_coloratura]

is that Julie Gardner has made it clear on several occassions that the dynamics between Jack, Gwen and Ianto are going to change as a result of the loss of Owen and Tosh.

THREESOME!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Yes, please. But... poor Rhys.