HOHOHOHOHO

[tencrush]

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

And for Christmas I bring you... assorted fannish gripes.

• Some of you don't quite seem to believe me on the bears thing.
  
  torchwood_bears
  
  There you fucking go. And THAT, ladies, I am telling you right now, is NOT normal fucking behaviour. There's been a lot of talk on the flist lately about girl fans and boy fans and all that sort of shizzle. I have to say I don't really have that much of an opinion on the subject but I must admit that A)that bear thing B)grown women writing words like "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" and using far too many exclamation marks and C)flowery Jack/Ianto wedding and mpreg fic are the three things that make me reluctant to tell the normals out there that I am a WOMAN who is a FAN of anything whatsoever. Because, by association, I always feel a bit embarrassed for my sex and I'd rather just keep my mouth shut. So yeah, thanks for that. Grow the fuck up. On that same note, I think I've explained before that the reason I do things like mention pie and cock far too often is really quite simple. Pie references tend to put off the typical squeeing fangirl who can see no wrong with the object of their affection and therefore can't even take a joke when I say that object's looking a bit jiggly round the tum. Obviously I don't think Gareth David-Lloyd is fat. Anyone who's taken me seriously and taken offense at my pie jokes is really not somebody I'm wanting to be talking to anyway, so good fucking riddance. Cock? Yeah, well, that's me just trying to get as far away from squee and love hearts and DRESSING UP FUCKING BEARS as I can physically get whilst still expressing my appreciation for someone on the telly. You all understand that, right? Meh... whatever.


• I am THIS FUCKING CLOSE to defriending torchwoodcoffee. I have no respect for any comm that allows NC17 photomanips, I'm sorry, I just don't. And the thing with me and photomanips is, I know how hard they are to do, and, in fact, I'm actually pretty good at them. As such, I can't actually help clicking on pretty much any one I come across out of a morbid curiosity to find out how good the manipper in question actually is. In doing so, I have found out two things about me and photomanips and they are: A)there is not a single person in either Who or TW fandom who is actually any good at them. They are all unequivocally awful. And don't come to me and say "but oh... have you seen so-and-so's stuff", because yes, I have, I know who the shoppers are in these fandoms and they're all really bad at it, trust me. Bad. B)The more it happens and the more I stumble across it, the more I find photoshopped sex scenes and nudity featuring the real actual faces of real actual actors not just worrying but completely fucking morally reprehensible. If an actor wanted to get his cock out or put it up someone else on screen for everyone to see, that would be his prerogative. Just because he doesn't, doesn't give you the fannish right to paste his head onto someone else's naked and/or rutting frame. "Oh, Whelk, stop whining and just don't click it", I hear you say. Yeah, fine, whatever, I can't help myself. I NEED to know if it's going to be as bad, badly thought through, and badly executed as I think it's going to be. I'm a masochist. I think I've mentioned that before. It invariably is. Sometimes, it's bad enough to make me want to leave fandom and the internet behind for good. That's how much I hate them.


• I LOVE my community ninja_teaboy and its members. I am therefore putting out another shout to my flist to go and read my all new community guidelines, and come and join the kickass!Ianto cause and input fic and all the rest of it. I'm not actually being hugely active, what with the holidays, but I will pay it more attention when Christmas is over, I promise. I also know I promised cageyklio to respond to a fic that was recced there, and that's still something I'm going to do, because, to my surprise, I don't actually agree with you and I'll write a wee review of the story when I get round to it and tell you why. So... I will actually do that. In a bit.


• Thank you to everyone who's been pm-ing me about the comm and in general, and saying nice things about me and about the stuff I write, it's really sweet and I really appreciate it, I feel like I only ever really bitch on this LJ, and in essence that's true, I only really ever have something to say when I'm unsatisfied with something, but it's good to know it amuses and entertains people because that thought keeps me just a little bit sane. So, thank you and I hope everyone has a good Christmas.


See you on the other side.

Comments

[louisema.livejournal.com]

I hear you.....that is NOT normal behaviour. "Here's my bear!" "my bear says hi to your bear!" "Hey, you've got a Jack bear, and mine's Ianto..." NO. Why do I always click on links even when I know they're going to hurt my brain?...oh wait. Same reason as you click on the photomanips, I guess :)

*vows not to go anywhere near torchwoodcoffee, it sounds a scary scary scary place*

Ninja Teaboy is many many flavours of wonderful :)

Have a great Christmas!

[tencrush]

torchwoodcoffee used to be a straightforward Ianto community, but it's been taken over by fluff and Mary Sue fics and godawful manips. It's not the mods' fault, I know both of them and they're sensible and lovely people. Having started a community myself, I have to admit I have no idea what I would do if that were to happen at The Teaboy. It's a scary thought.

[louisema.livejournal.com]

Use your power and title :) "Elitist bitch does not want your photomanips here, go elsewhere". Besides, you've covered manips in the guidelines...it's everything else you might have to worry about :)

[travellingone.livejournal.com]

You're the mod, ban them.

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

Uh, yeah. Actually I can't say I have ever considered banning photomanips from torchwoodcoffee if it's properly labelled. Mainly because I usually don't look at them if I can help it for the same reasons you rant about there because no one has complained about them yet...

[tencrush]

I understand your reasoning and that's cool. I feel like a bit of a random bitch, myself, for not allowing them at The Teaboy, but everyone told me to do what made me comfortable, so I did.

I am just special needs because I can't not click them. (Admittedly, also, some of them make me spit coffee on my screen with their badness, so I do get some luls out of it.)

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

I saw some gems, yes. I just figured if people didn't want them, they'd cry for the mods, you know? There should be a discussion, I think. I myself don't read half of the fic posted there at the moment to be honest, lack of time and brains, I'm just happy everyone is behaving well

[forgiveninasong.livejournal.com]

I'm writing a fic for xmas_kinkathon where Ianto totally takes the lead. Is that the right sort of thing you're looking for?

[tencrush]

Totally :)

[forgiveninasong.livejournal.com]

Excellent! I'm planning on getting the damned thing finished this evening, as it has to be posted before the end of the month, and I want it out there, you know? I don't like meek and feeble Ianto, I like badass Ianto. Can I iz join?! Or I even like *gasp* a mutually fulfilling relationship between Jack and Ianto!

[jo02]

I am so with you on the whole bear thing that I don't have adequate words to express it. I've been in fandom for 30 years now and down through all those years I've known and seen girls/women with dress-up bears or handmade dolls. I don't find them creepy, I just think they bring so much embarrassment to fandom that, like you, I just don't ever talk about fandom to family or other friends unless they do first.
Talking about manips, like you I have to look when they come up on the comms and yes most of them are silly, embarrassing not well done. But this one recently - http://shayasar.livejournal.com/49093.html - has to be one of the nicest I've seen in ages. (I know you said don't do that but if there is a good one out there it should be shared)
I don't have a problem with graphic manips, it's just that most of the time they stick Jack and/or Ianto's heads on completely the wrong body type. Yes they both probably have good bodies in spite of all the pie, but neither of them are professional body-builders and part-time gay male models. I like some reality with my fantasy please.
And I'll take this opportunity to wish you a Merry Christmas etc, because your journal has been one of the consistent highlights of my fannish year.

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

Merry Christmas!

And (let me add my) thanks for introducing ninja_teaboy. I find myself gradually deleting TW comms for mostly the same reasons you've ranted about, so it's good to have a promising new comm to add. (Though I'll probably be a lurker most of the time.)

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

*sputter*

There's a bear comm. THERE'S A BEAR COMM.

Mother of God. I cannot unsee what I have seen. Yes, of COURSE I clicked the fucking link. I am a twitchy-fingered link-clicker. Curiosity 1, Sanity 0.


Cock? Yeah, well, that's me just trying to get as far away from squee and love hearts and DRESSING UP FUCKING BEARS as I can physically get whilst still expressing my appreciation for someone on the telly.

Well, that, and Cock is awesome! (Except when other people's heads are pasted on, which is just humiliating to me as a human being. I would like to issue a blanket apology on behalf of all of us here to Mssrs Barrowman and David-Lloyd, except an apology should really be followed by the abasement and grovelling of the offending parties.)


I love ninja_teaboy. I feel oddly surrounded by adults there. I love to air my non-fluffy opinions about my fictional Welsh boyfriend.

Ninja Teaboy: Our Porn Is Hotter, and Spelled Correctly.

[oneloveonelight.livejournal.com]

Cock is good. Bears suck. Well, except in the gay sense and then it's all good.

[love-jackianto.livejournal.com]

'Ninja Teaboy: Our Porn Is Hotter, and Spelled Correctly.'
That should be our slogan. It would look great on a t-shirt :D

'I love ninja_teaboy. I feel oddly surrounded by adults there. I love to air my non-fluffy opinions about my fictional Welsh boyfriend.'
I second that.

[kelspots.livejournal.com]

'Ninja Teaboy: Our Porn Is Hotter, and Spelled Correctly.'
That should be our slogan.

Seconded! LOL

[oneloveonelight.livejournal.com]

With you on everything. However, I'm guilty of squeeing and some exclamation pointing (but that's the exent of my feminity and I don't do it much). I *heart* you for wanting to act like adults here and, while there's nothing wrong with being young at heart, there is something wrong with being effing stupid and lame. My lord, I'm embarrassed with how juvenile it can get sometimes. This is why I used to hang out with only guys. BECAUSE. Girls make me want to get a lobotomy at times.

*chuckles* You're right, I've never seen a good photomanip EVER!

[meleth.livejournal.com]

torchwood_bears is...not what I thought it would be.

[blinkytreefrog.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha:-)

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

Man, sometimes your posts are really a breath of fresh air to me. Lately I've been wanting to shoot Torchwood fandom in the collective face, as addicted to it as I am - between the heaps of awful holiday-themed MPREG ass-baby fic, people talking about Barrowman like he's Jesus Christ, dumb SRS BNZ character-bashing/shipper wank, and other idiocy, I've just about had it. Then you post something about those creepy bears or GDL's cock and I LOL and feel so much better. :)

[travellingone.livejournal.com]

It makes discussion of cock mature. (This is good thing, because cock esp. GDL's cock > bears. Ew.)

[noneinnyet.livejournal.com]

I could not bring myself to look at the bear community. Teddy bears are the antithesis of sexy alien hunters and last I checked, Torchwood was all about the sexy alien hunters. Especially their cocks.

[dvanulya.livejournal.com]

Damn damn damn. I clicked. I need to wash my eyes with Dettol. Okay, not that bad, but really...WTF?

What's particularly weird is that there are some folks there whose fic is not bad. And now I will never look at their stuff the same way, because I'll be seeing those fucking bears.

I have to wonder what the TW folks say to each other after they are assaulted by the bears...probably "those fucking bears."

Oh, yeah, I do squee sometimes. Loudly and damply. And John Barrowman = the Gay Messiah (sorry, Rufus). So, really, better than the old one.

I'm sure GDL has a nice cock, too.

[kelspots.livejournal.com]

I love reading your rants, and sincerely hope you weren't planning any new year's resolutions about not posting any more. I also love the new comm - thanks for creating it.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

Manips scare the crap out of me. They always look so improbable too. I mean, c'mon, am I the only person who doesn't imagine Ianto is quite that buff under his shirt? And that he's probably hairy and likes pie? No?

Also, I saw Torchwood bears, and I was thinking in like the gay sense, not actual bears (see above comment re hairy Ianto). I was disappointed.

[tigercheetah.livejournal.com]

I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. You're journal is definately one of the highlights of Torchwood fandom. :)

*nods about the bears and about Torchwoodcoffee going from being an actual Ianto community to a fluffy Janto community. :( *