While I'm disabled...

[tencrush]

God, I have an incredible urge to take a random sampling of Jack/Ianto fanfic and work out the ratio of Jack versus Ianto as to who takes it up the arse. But where would I take a random sampling from? And, mostly, it would only depress me because I think that if I did it, I'd probably prove that, despite canonical evidence to the contrary, Ianto is invariably the crying, helpless, penetrated wife.

I did that thing once where I worked out how many and what sorts of orgasms Rose had in Ten/Rose fic. I think I left it on my work computer, though. I'm sad about that. They were magical and plentiful and vaginal and reading 50 Ten/Rose fics in a day put me off fic for about a year. Which was a bonus.

Comments

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, the cribs and baby clothes, Hub baby showers, morning sickness and swollen bellies, teary-eyed declarations of really real love, tender scenes of prenatal anxieties...

Oh god, why did I get myself started on this topic. GAH.

And yet I've never seen a fic that attempts to answer the one question that I have: what happened to Jack's child?

[venusinchains.livejournal.com]

"WHY IS THERE IANTO MPREG??????"

YES. As much as I love how crack-y Torchwood is, an mpreg!Ianto requires one or two extra dozen steps that canon pretty much tells us an mpreg!Jack doesn't. So why are there so few mpreg!Jacks and a ridiculous number of mpreg!Iantos?


"...what happened to Jack's child?"

Double YES. I assume his team truly believes that his wild stories are all boldfaced lies - and that's why his statement is ignored. But I prefer to believe that all his stories are 100% true - just another part of the crack that makes Torchwood quietly hilarious (imo). And if I'm right, I'm sure Ianto knows. It's just the fans being left out. (As is often the case in TW, for one reason or another. *rolls eyes* But fanfic was invented for gaps like that. *is especially puzzled by this apparent lack in TW fandom* )

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I definitely think that --at least with his team-- Jack is perversely honest. He'll hide things, but he won't say that A is B, and he doesn't make stuff up. With the life he's lived, why the hell would he have to?

[travellingone.livejournal.com]

I take it you've read that multi-part epic domestic fic of doom?

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

Maybe-- there are like twelve of them, aren't there? A just and loving Mod would make a thorough index, for the curious and statistic-minded.

I dip in to a lot of fic I'm sure I won't like, partly for the expected lulz, partly for the seedy thrill of the WTFery, and partly for the hope of finding a pearl amongst the oyster shells.