Why a whelk...

"Should I throw myself upon Darryn's firm's lawyer and just beg for help instead of trying to work it all out?"

Yes, do that. Once upon a time, I was an immigration lawyer. Don't ask me anything now though. It's extremely complicated. Don't take this as formal legal advice, but I wouldn't pretend you'd never had a green card. (don't know if you were serious about that). They don't make it easy, that's for sure. ( Fitchburg Mass? I grew up in Mass.)

Social security number: is that a serious question? It's valid even if you never file a tax return or anything else, as far as I know.

From:

tencrush

Fitchburg, MA, yeah. Second hilliest city in the US after San Fran, apparently. I grew up in Townsend.

I spent my youth travelling in and out of the country and answering every immigration related question with the words "six weeks", no matter what the question or the truth (usually about 8 months?) I have seen the big guns at the embassy and my parents, years ago now, signed the paper and had their green cards cut up whilst having the big guns pointed at them. I wouldn't dare pretend I never had a green card because American immigration officials scare the living shit out of me, and that's coming from someone who quite likes America, but that's the vibe they put across to the alien crowd.

The social security thing was a semi-serious question, because as far as I'm aware a social security number is valid always and forever and ever amen, but I wasn't quite sure. It was issued to me 20 years ago, maybe if you don't file a return or open a bank account for 10 years, they assume you're dead? I don't know :/

From:

Oh man, big guns are persuasive. I was at the end of a bunch of them, a bunch of times, in Pakistan. Yes SIR! O__O

Surely there's no need.

From:

tencrush

But America's all about guns, surely? You love the guns, you lot. Shooting things. Big, fuck off guns. Gun racks. Killing. Death. Pick-up trucks. Billy Ray Cyrus. Sarah Palin. That sort of thing.

From:

Depends on where you are.

I'd argue (looking at Canada which has far more guns per capita than we do) that it's not so much that we have them, it's that we abuse them.

Why, I myself have been shot at in a drive-by. Assholes.

But I don't really have an answer. Gun culture is so far outside of my experience that it's like Mars.

From:

Seriously. Immigration attorney is the way to go. If you're going for work, does your husband's company (I think it's him, right) have one on a leash?

From:

tencrush

As an aside: Ummm... would it be a lot easier if we were married, yes? As opposed to NOT. With two children?

From:

Under US laws? Hell yeah.

See, that's the problem--you're european. You're not hung up on silly rules that assume if you're not married, there's something WRONG WITH YOU and that you're evil and bad and not properly committed and subservient to a manly yet tender husband. You can go your entire life bidie-in, and it's perfectly okay, you godless soulless heathen. (/snark)

Seriously. It will be exponentially more difficult for you to get a visa if you are not married, and is another reason to find a good immigration attorney.

From:

tencrush

I think maybe we'll just get married, then. Ho hum. As long as I don't have to have a party or anything, I don't really care.

From:

I think you need to have an immigration party. As in, a Drink All My Beer, Eat All My Food, and Everybody Goes Home With a Souvenir party.

Best way to get rid of unnecessary crap before moving. Everybody thinks they're getting some thing special, and you don't have to move all that junk. The one I had went on for 6 hours(!) and reduced my load of junk significantly. My rules were if it wasn't something with a ton of sentimental value, wasn't something that could not be replaced at a similar or lesser cost than moving it (taking quality of workmanship into account), or wasn't something I absolutely had to take (e.g. birth certificate, etc), it stayed in North America.

Much better than a wedding party.

From:

off_coloratura

BTW, my husband and I got married for reasons of convenience too. It makes things SO much easier. Which, when he was in Iraq and I had to deal with bills and creditors and whatnot, was a very good thing.

Say "I'm his wife" on the phone and people give you all sorts of sensitive account information. It's kind of heady. POWER.

From:

I second that. Our immigration laws don't recognize any couples that aren't married.

From:

http://tinyurl.com/33rznu

That website is some FAQs related to green cards, including what to do when your green card is expired and you are overseas. It also recommends contacting the embassy or consulate for a list of who can give representation.

If nothing else, you need the representation because you are a commonlaw couple with dependent children. That'll throw a spanner in the works all on its own. My personal theory is screw the guns, the rules and tricky bits and catch-22s and all that are the things to be afraid of.

From:

tencrush

Thanks, I shall have a read.

From:

LOL re: 6 weeks as the answer to any immigration question. Yeah, you used to be able to stay for 6 months as a tourist from the EU and people often overstayed (again, I don't know what the laws are now). But you couldn't work or be a student.
"American immigration officials scare the living shit out of me" - perfectly valid and reasonable. They scare me too! I know of too many situations in which someone was hauled away from a routine green card interview or re-entry into the country for an unknown and obscure infraction in their deep past, to be deported away from their family and the only country they've known, and unable to return, perhaps forever. And now the trend is to give local police the authority to enforce immigration law - crazy! Plus these people are petty law enforcement types or bureaucrats who understand only their limited little area. The whole system is very very bad, inhumane and severely underfinanced.
Oops, sorry about the rant!

From:

tencrush

AND they have guns!

From:

And jails and handcuffs. And you don't have a right to an attorney.

From:

tencrush

Six weeks was such an easy answer because for at least thirty years now, America has been pretty much the only western country in the world that actually puts stamps in your passport. I was usually out of the country for about six months at a time, but they had no way of checking that, because the Dutch don't stamp anything on entry and haven't done for decades.

From:

We have great fried chicken though.

From:

tencrush

That you do, yes. And Eggo waffles.

From:

And peanut butter.

You people *airy dismissive wave* know nothing about peanut butter.

From:

tencrush

Dutch peanut butter is all gritty and made of peanuts. What the FUCK is the point of that, man? I've never understood Dutch peanut butter.

From:

Gritty?

*shudder*

It's a true fact that the more peanuts go into the peanut butter, the worse it is. (Though it doesn't necessarily follow that the less the better.) I'm a Skippy girl. Just the right silky texture and just enough sugar.

From: