Random thoughts on Who and TW

[tencrush]

• Yeah. So... Almost Perfect. The Torchwood novel. Seriously. Gender swap. I can't make longer sentences than this. Gender swap, seriously. Dudes. Honestly, gender swap? NO. I cannot even begin to explain on how many levels that's just a really, really bad idea. Why don't we just give the big gay show over ENTIRELY to 16-year-old fanfic writers, yeah? Because I'd be willing to bet that despite the hilarious premise, nobody gets FUCKED IN THE ASS in this book, and at least if we handed over to the ficcers, we'd have a guarantee that the novels would be full of FUCKING FILTH. Maybe not always filth of the highest calibre or believability, but pornography nonetheless. All the books would be about Jack and Ianto (the Time Lord) and would contain gratuitous rimming and hilariously bad things happening to Gwen. Actually, now that I start to think about it, all of that might not actually be that bad an idea. Forget I spoke. Fucking gender swap. Honestly, man. Kill me now.



• Beckett LOVES The Doctor's Daughter and I think he fancies Jenny a bit. But then he asks me yesterday "Why did the guy from THE BOX SHOW shooted the daughter?" and it took me ages to work out what he was talking about. The box show is, of course, Deal or No Deal, and Beckett thinks Jenny was shot by Noel Edmonds.



• And while I'm on The Doctor's Daughter, between Owen's 27-ness, the Doctor's refusal to take Mr. Copper along in VotD, 5 BILLION OTHER THINGS, and now the Doctor's DOWNRIGHT MOCKING of Donna's feminine wiles, Rusty's BLATANT AGEISM is starting to get RIGHT ON MY TITS. My thirtysomething, slightly deflated tits.


• Oh yeah, and Gareth? DON'T say in interviews that you can't afford a PA unless you want EVEN MORE letters than you're already getting from lots of lovely ladies offering you their services for free. With a blowjob thrown in. Honestly. Silly boy.

I use the icon because I haven't mentioned Gareth's COCK in at least a week. I'm going into withdrawal.

That is all.

Comments

[glorfindelghost.livejournal.com]

I read the summary for 'Almost perfect' with my fist stuffed in my mouth and haven't stopped laughing since. I mean, when Torchwood fans are astounded at the sheer level of barmy crackiness then you know its quite something.

But then I remember that this show gave us canon mpreg and I just sort of shrug and repeat "fanfic funny, Ianto pretty" to myself as a mantra...

[love-jackianto.livejournal.com]

'fanfic funny, Ianto pretty'
Ohh, I think I just found a new mantra.

[glorfindelghost.livejournal.com]

Seriously. It will get you through ship wars, debates over Jack's timeline and discussions about Owen and the pheromone spray with your sanity intact!

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

Bless you, you have garnered the Truth. :-D

It shall set us free.

[glorfindelghost.livejournal.com]

Have I started a cult?

Excellent, thats one off the to-do list...