PIES

[tencrush]

I love the fandom divide I've created ALL BY MYSELF. See, when I say Gareth has EATEN PIES, I am, of course, referring to pies of the steak and kidney and/or chicken and mushroom variety. I love how people read it as fruit-based pastry snacks. YOU'RE GIVING YOURSELVES AWAY AS YANKS, YEAH?

This will be my final word on the subject. It's just a term of endearment, he's lovely, and furthermore there were NO PIES in evidence in FOOTR, apart from that little muffin top/beer belly thing in the last scene which was really just cute and made me want to bite it. AND IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY MY ASSERTION THAT GARETH HAS EATEN ALL THE PIES, I know who you are, people, I only mock, SWEETLY, because I love. And possibly, YOU MIGHT JUST BE MISSING A BRITGLISH NUANCE HERE, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT?

I reserve the right to mention the words Gareth and Pies in a sentence as much as I bloody want.
*sexes Ianto, PIES AND ALL*

Comments

[off_coloratura]

I knew what you meant, silly. And I was JOKING.

[tencrush]

Yah, I'm not talking to you, babycakes. Though your pie comment made me realise, on a more general level, that I might be dealing with a slight language barrier and indeed, living full time with a Brit, a certain well-intended good-natured mockery that I am used to which doesn't quite translate, perhaps?

[off_coloratura]

Mmaybe.

Then again your average Torchwood-watching, tencrush-reading fangirl will be a titch more britspeak-literate than your average Yank.

It translates just fine to me, although my heart goes out to the poor lamb sometimes. It can't be easy trying to stay camera-fit with the sort of shooting schedule they've got.

[tencrush]

Yeah, sorry, I saw myself get blasted elsewhere for being INCREDIBLY OFFENSIVELY PERSONALLY ATTACKING THE POOR POOR BOY. Just because I said he ate a few pies.

If it was me, if I were him, I'd be MORE WORRIED by my assertion that I'd FUCK HIM TILL HE BREAKS, than by a few well-meant jibes about his jawline.

[off_coloratura]

Oh, I'm sure he's used to women saying they'd fuck him till he breaks, by now.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

YOU LOVE HIS PIES

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

Even though meat pies are an unnatural abomination and the only true pies have fruit, I knew what you meant. I may be a Yank but I'm pie-informed.

That muffin-top and blurry jawline owe their existence to sherpherd's pie or steak & kidney pie or mutton pie or whatever pie the Welsh eat on a regular basis, not blueberry pie. Blueberry pie would be good to Ianto as well as provide antioxidant protection.

I need a Ianto and pie icon.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

Where are the people who blasted you? I will take care of them for you. I will pelt them with pies. Meat pies.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

He may actually be used to being fucked until he breaks by now. Didn't JB call him a bit of a womanizer?

Do I need to put a disclaimer on this so that I'm not attached by hoardes of angry fangirls????

[meleth.livejournal.com]

Really? *has sudden urge to go to Cardiff*

[tencrush]

I was going to post a while back about how he should lay off the pies, if not for our sakes, then at least for the sake of that poor slight girl I do believe he's still fucking. If anyone's going to get broken, it's her.

But then I remembered I'd already once said that there wasn't a cinematic filter in existence that could disguise the pale Welshness of her thighs. Which I thought was a bit mean of me, so I decided to leave her well out of it.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

I could never quite reconcile JB's comment with the fact that GDL is dating (I think) an actress who was in series 1. I do recall GDL saying in an interview that he regrets his treatment of some prior girlfriend. Perhaps it is indeed the pies that were at fault. Anyway, now that I've used his private life for some cheap humor, I'll back off since none of this is any of my business.

Seriously, I do love GDL to bits after hearing him on the DVD commentary and reading some interviews. He reminds me of an enthusiastic puppy, if said puppy also came equipped with a very sly sense of humor. And he reads fanfic! Of course I disapproved because it mightn't be good for his ego. I hope fandom never changes him.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

You and me both.

[tencrush]

As far as I'm aware he's still with sexgasgirl, yes. But like I said I said something slightly mean about her once already and that was just down to insane fangirl dementia on my part, so I will, too, back off that one at a pace. Bless his little cotton socks.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

It is so difficult to both be a fangirl and to be witty. You see my sad attempts to reconcile the two.

If this thread is troublesome, I can delete my comments or you can.

[tencrush]

I think as long as we're not writing RPF where she GETS HIT BY A CAR (oh LOL, remember that one, Sophia Myles???) we're pretty safe.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

Please. All my free time goes towards making lists of what can be done IN JACK'S HOLE, figuring out what's sloppy about sexytiem, and imagining Jack dropping out of the sky to land on Ianto. It's exhausting, frankly. :-)

[kurthummel.livejournal.com]

Snort, I have to admit, up until now, I thought of the fruity type pies, but I stand corrected. Chicken pot pies are just as tasty, and that's the way GDL likes them...

Err, I mean...

I can't believe people are getting their asses chapped over this. Oy vey.

[ionlylurkhere.livejournal.com]

Obviously the pies in eating all the pies are meat pies. OBVIOUSLY.

And he probably has to eat so many to line his stomach for all the coffee he has to drink. Some of those scenes must go through dozens of takes.

[off_coloratura]

Dum de dum...
*looks innocent*
*drops this on the floor*

Whoops... dum de dum...

[tencrush]

Do you happen to know which episode that's from? I know it's early S1, but which?

[off_coloratura]

Of course I do, or I couldn't have made the icon. :)

"Ghost Machine." Sploe!

(yeah, ok, it's probably a Danish. Don't care.)

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

Oh fantastic! It's pastry -- close enough. May I use it and credit you? Pretty please?????

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

Clearly he is pie-addicted and it's the fault of the show. He should sue. Or perhaps we should sue on his behalf. Fangirls United Against Pie. FUAP.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

Apparently some folks are very protective of Ianto's ass. Although after careful study I have determined that the pies have had no effect on its size, quality, or appearance.

[off_coloratura]

No, I posted it just so I could torment you. Of course you can.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

Well, I didn't want to assume. :-) You are a sweetie! Ianto will name his next pie after you.

[off_coloratura]

Also notice he is not wearing a napkin. Oh, Ianto, for shame.

[tencrush]

*looks around*
Shall I take this one?
*nobly sacrifices self*

*pregnant pause*

I've got something he can fuap right here.

[erinnthered.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, WHAT?!?!

Yes, GDL should stay away from the fandom. They will break him in ways that are not nearly as fun as fucking.

[erinnthered.livejournal.com]

I applaud your sacrifice. It must pain you greatly. *snort*


And yeah, I understood the kind of pies you meant. People take these things too seriously.

[tencrush]

Oh, a year and a bit ago, there was this 5 BILLION chapter RPF about David Tennant having an affair behind Sophia's back with Billie Piper (read: Rose, read: the AUTHOR) and some time around chapter 512 Sophia got hit by a car. Oh how we laughed. I don't actually read much fanfic and certainly no RPF because it makes me throw up in my mouth a little, so I only read the getting hit by a car chapter which, apart from anything else, was just APPALLINGLY BAD. But yeah, that particular fic got the RPF removed from a few Who communities, and who_daily and stuff. Whovian RPF thankfully seems to have been banished to a few closed comms. I can breathe more easily now, I don't know why it offends me so, but it does.

[erinnthered.livejournal.com]

RPF offends me on principle. Fan fiction is fiction and should stick to fictional characters. It's one thing to have a real life person make a cameo or effect the plot - like a historical figure - it's another to write sex-based stories about real people. I understand the right to write it and post it, but I agree that it should stick to comms dedicated to that kind of thing.

On the other hand, if you could point me to that chapter somewhere I could use the laugh. Man, that's just a special kind of delusional.

I've only started reading fanfic with Torchwood. Mainly because this is the first show where a lot of the crazy things that happen in fic could actually be canon. I love my crack show.

[tencrush]

I'll have a trawl back and see if I can find it some time, I think it was in Time and Chips or something.

But yeah, RPF. It's gross. But then I hate photomanips for the same reason, and they also make me throw up in my mouth a little. If an actor's willing to have gay bumsex on screen, then fair play to him, but if he chooses not to I am totally squicked by the idea that people think they have a right to paste his fayce onto someone else's gay bumsexxings. It's just offensive. And the entire reason I hate TenthDoctor/Simm!Master.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

Is it IN YOUR PANTS????

[off_coloratura]

YOU MADE AWESOME PIE ICON!

I wish my photoshop worked. :(

[tencrush]

I downloadeded Ghost Machine just to make that. I am so faily.

[off_coloratura]

I got the cap from kali's Torchwood screencaps, but I guess it's not very good quality.

[tencrush]

I only worked out how to make Windows Media Player do frame advance yesterday, so I'm just arsing around now. I'd been using Kali's as well, and more recently Marishna's because they're bigger, but she usually does less frames, so there's less chance of a good one.

There's only one sharp frame in that pastry scene before it cuts away, anyway. Good Lord, I forgot how little screen time the boy had last season.

[off_coloratura]

And good lord, he was skinnier, wasn't he?

I like to think this scene was where he took the first step down the Road To Pies.