MAGIC!

[tencrush]

Latest charity shop aquisition: Celtic Sex Magic, I kid you not. If it's got the word "sex" in it, I just can't seem to leave it on the shelf and there's something about the coupling of the words sex and magic that makes me chuckle on the inside and subsequently spend my cash, every single time. And in the same way that The Art of Sexual Magic taught me how intensely dull it would be to have sex with Sting, Celtic Sex Magic is teaching me how right I am in not really trusting men with beards, just generally.

"Jon G. Hughes is part of a lineage of Druids that has been practicing for five generations in a remote area of Wales." I think a Torchwood episode's in order, I swear to God this would be MORE traumatising than cannibals ever could be. Plus, the script just totally writes itself, it's written itself halfway in my head already.

If anyone, especially a bearded anyone, ever tells you he needs help "potentizing his spells", run like fuck.

Comments

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

I've browsed a few of those, and I can't help but notice that no magical tradition includes anybody going down on me. That's the kind of magic I could really get behind.

They all seem to be written by men who otherwise would never get lucky.

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

I would read that Torchwood episode you're writing there, although it would probably scar me for life

[tencrush]

Oh, but it does! Get thee to Wales pronto if you fancy some hawt bearded druid action in your personal area.

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

Oh! Well, erm, no thanks.

Wales, yes. Welsh guy, yes. In fact, there's one Welsh guy who seems pretty pleased with his oral skills, and I think it's only fair to all of us that I verify his claim.

But I really can't get beyond the pointy hat and the beard.

[meleth.livejournal.com]

1. Is the sex magic as sexist as it always seems? Because the only people I've found who are advocating it are sketchy guys trying to find another excuse to get into ladies' pants, with the excuse that it's a holy sacred whatever.

2. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[off_coloratura]

Ianto set the coffee mug on Jack's desk. "Growing a beard, Sir?"

Jack only smiled enigmatically and took a sip.

[tencrush]

I don't know, I just read a bit about everybody orgasming in the same direction and I've had to put it down for a mo trying to picture it and feeling a bit nauseous.

[tencrush]

I'll bet Jack always comes facing due north anyway, it's a 51st century thing.

[bandgeek01.livejournal.com]

I can see it now. Torchwood, we need your help in a remote part of Wales. There seems to be magic spells happening by bearded men.

Nicole

[ceindreadh.livejournal.com]

"Most books on witches say they dance naked in the moonlight, that's because most books on witches are written by men"
(paraphrased from Sir Terry Pratchett)

[cirrocumulus.livejournal.com]

I'm already in a giggly mood but oh my god, this sounds like positively the best Torchwood episode ever to be written. I think RTD, or whoever is going to take over in S4, needs to be contacted immediately.

Or hell, if you just wrote it yourself I'd so, so read it.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

I am laughing.

Please, more quotations. Please.

[louisema.livejournal.com]

A show-down between beardy guy and Capt. Jack! Lots of wand-porn! Some *really* questionable punchlines, and quite a lot of eye-rolling from Ianto while Jack shows off!

I am with you on this one. Again.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

This gives me a tenuous excuse to link to When is a Celt not a Celt? An Irreverent peek into Neopagan views of history. Behold! The Leprechaun and Banshee, high priest and priestess of the ancient Irish potato goddess. "Most of Stepanich's tradition, like McCoy's, appears to have more in common with a box of Frosted Lucky Charms than with ancient Celtic religion."