REAL PEOPLE! REAL SLASH!
Oct. 2nd, 2008 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tencrushI've said before about how much I hate Real Person Fiction. (Though, yes, I wrote that one once where David Tennant and Sophia Myles have some sex, kill a Real Person Fic authoress and then set off on a killing spree across the Nevada desert. But that was postmodern, deconstructivist RPF.) But yes, I think it's gross. Unless someone writes me that Gareth David-Lloyd/Felicity Kendall May/December porn that I keep asking for. With a strap-on. I digress! I HATE RPF!!! It's intrusive and downright weird and the only thing I hate more than RPF are photomanips.
I DIGRESS AGAIN. IF. And that's a big IF. If I were the sort of person who was inclined to write RPF, though... Based, say, on those kind of odd pictures of GDL and JB seemingly canoodling off screen... It would be an epic, multi-chaptered thing of beauty and would revolve around The Welsh-Scottish/American Gay Mafia 's repeated and hilarious attempts to Tempt Gareth David-Lloyd Into Bisexuality For The Good Of Gaykind. Each chapter would tell another tale of how Barrowman and Davies, both lynchpins of the aforementioned organisation, would cheat, lie and bitch at each other in an attempt to be the one to reap the Undisclosed Monetary Reward for the achieving of said goal. It would run and run and run. There would be in-jokes in which Davies would constantly accuse Barrowman of being unneccessarily camp and Barrowman would call Davies "you old queen" a lot. Each chapter would end with the two of them fighting like girls and Gareth just walking away, smoking a fag and finding himself a fangirl to stick it to. It would be EPIC. If I were to write such a thing.
Which is why I don't do fic on any level, really.
I DIGRESS AGAIN. IF. And that's a big IF. If I were the sort of person who was inclined to write RPF, though... Based, say, on those kind of odd pictures of GDL and JB seemingly canoodling off screen... It would be an epic, multi-chaptered thing of beauty and would revolve around The Welsh-Scottish/American Gay Mafia 's repeated and hilarious attempts to Tempt Gareth David-Lloyd Into Bisexuality For The Good Of Gaykind. Each chapter would tell another tale of how Barrowman and Davies, both lynchpins of the aforementioned organisation, would cheat, lie and bitch at each other in an attempt to be the one to reap the Undisclosed Monetary Reward for the achieving of said goal. It would run and run and run. There would be in-jokes in which Davies would constantly accuse Barrowman of being unneccessarily camp and Barrowman would call Davies "you old queen" a lot. Each chapter would end with the two of them fighting like girls and Gareth just walking away, smoking a fag and finding himself a fangirl to stick it to. It would be EPIC. If I were to write such a thing.
Which is why I don't do fic on any level, really.
