It's still a manipulation. I don't know if you've ever been part of an intervention, but trust me even in the heart of the worst of it, the addict takes every shot possible. Ianto might have a gun to his head, which is not typical, but it's still an intervention.
To keep this delicate balance intact he focused his anger on Jack, silently blaming him for not knowing, not asking, not helping him. I could imagine that at some point he'd even started playing out the scenario that Jack would ask the right question, and he'd tell him, and Jack would forgive him and fix Lisa, and everything would be all right...
Blaming an outsider for his problem is also typical of an addict's behaviour. To admit responsibility means you have to admit you have a problem, and that's the first big step. It's not my fault the cops arrested me for drunk in public two blocks from my house, where were you last night when I wanted to out and you weren't there to take me home? This wouldn't have happened if you had been there to take me home. This wouldn't have happened if the cops hadn't been itching to meet their quota and arrested me instead of walking me home.
The above actually happened to a person I know, and said person did blame me for not helping her (read: enabling her). Never mind that if the person hadn't gone drinking, or called a cab, or called me, or what, it wouldn't have happened.
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Date: 2008-04-21 11:29 pm (UTC)To keep this delicate balance intact he focused his anger on Jack, silently blaming him for not knowing, not asking, not helping him. I could imagine that at some point he'd even started playing out the scenario that Jack would ask the right question, and he'd tell him, and Jack would forgive him and fix Lisa, and everything would be all right...
Blaming an outsider for his problem is also typical of an addict's behaviour. To admit responsibility means you have to admit you have a problem, and that's the first big step. It's not my fault the cops arrested me for drunk in public two blocks from my house, where were you last night when I wanted to out and you weren't there to take me home? This wouldn't have happened if you had been there to take me home. This wouldn't have happened if the cops hadn't been itching to meet their quota and arrested me instead of walking me home.
The above actually happened to a person I know, and said person did blame me for not helping her (read: enabling her). Never mind that if the person hadn't gone drinking, or called a cab, or called me, or what, it wouldn't have happened.