Random thoughts on Who and TW

[tencrush]

• Yeah. So... Almost Perfect. The Torchwood novel. Seriously. Gender swap. I can't make longer sentences than this. Gender swap, seriously. Dudes. Honestly, gender swap? NO. I cannot even begin to explain on how many levels that's just a really, really bad idea. Why don't we just give the big gay show over ENTIRELY to 16-year-old fanfic writers, yeah? Because I'd be willing to bet that despite the hilarious premise, nobody gets FUCKED IN THE ASS in this book, and at least if we handed over to the ficcers, we'd have a guarantee that the novels would be full of FUCKING FILTH. Maybe not always filth of the highest calibre or believability, but pornography nonetheless. All the books would be about Jack and Ianto (the Time Lord) and would contain gratuitous rimming and hilariously bad things happening to Gwen. Actually, now that I start to think about it, all of that might not actually be that bad an idea. Forget I spoke. Fucking gender swap. Honestly, man. Kill me now.



• Beckett LOVES The Doctor's Daughter and I think he fancies Jenny a bit. But then he asks me yesterday "Why did the guy from THE BOX SHOW shooted the daughter?" and it took me ages to work out what he was talking about. The box show is, of course, Deal or No Deal, and Beckett thinks Jenny was shot by Noel Edmonds.



• And while I'm on The Doctor's Daughter, between Owen's 27-ness, the Doctor's refusal to take Mr. Copper along in VotD, 5 BILLION OTHER THINGS, and now the Doctor's DOWNRIGHT MOCKING of Donna's feminine wiles, Rusty's BLATANT AGEISM is starting to get RIGHT ON MY TITS. My thirtysomething, slightly deflated tits.


• Oh yeah, and Gareth? DON'T say in interviews that you can't afford a PA unless you want EVEN MORE letters than you're already getting from lots of lovely ladies offering you their services for free. With a blowjob thrown in. Honestly. Silly boy.

I use the icon because I haven't mentioned Gareth's COCK in at least a week. I'm going into withdrawal.

That is all.

Comments

[glorfindelghost.livejournal.com]

I read the summary for 'Almost perfect' with my fist stuffed in my mouth and haven't stopped laughing since. I mean, when Torchwood fans are astounded at the sheer level of barmy crackiness then you know its quite something.

But then I remember that this show gave us canon mpreg and I just sort of shrug and repeat "fanfic funny, Ianto pretty" to myself as a mantra...

[love-jackianto.livejournal.com]

'Gender swap, seriously.'
Of all the fanfic ideas the COULD have stolen. *cough* TimeLord!Ianto *cough* The only thing worse would be if it turns out to be Gender!Swap!MPreg

Gareth's cock deserves to be mentioned in EVERY post.

[love-jackianto.livejournal.com]

'fanfic funny, Ianto pretty'
Ohh, I think I just found a new mantra.

[glorfindelghost.livejournal.com]

Seriously. It will get you through ship wars, debates over Jack's timeline and discussions about Owen and the pheromone spray with your sanity intact!

[qthewetsprocket.livejournal.com]

And while I'm on The Doctor's Daughter, between Owen's 27-ness, the Doctor's refusal to take Mr. Copper along in VotD, 5 BILLION OTHER THINGS, and now the Doctor's DOWNRIGHT MOCKING of Donna's feminine wiles, Rusty's BLATANT AGEISM is starting to get RIGHT ON MY TITS. My thirtysomething, slightly deflated tits.

TRUTH. the writers' fears about their own aging have become more and more prominent/annoying of late. i found the fact that the master used aging as a punishment in 'sound of drums' especially troubling. you're a fucking FAMILY show, people - at least doctor who is, and if the rumors are true, so will torchwood be soon - so you don't have to pander to that magically idiotic 18-25-year-old-male market. wankers.

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

he's looing for a PA?
*goes to polish up resume*

srsly, couldn't they have turned gwen into a guy? she might be more likeable as a guy

[ionlylurkhere.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, and Gareth? DON'T say in interviews that you can't afford a PA unless you want EVEN MORE letters than you're already getting from lots of lovely lades offering you their services for free. With a blowjob thrown in. Honestly. Silly boy.

But presumably ... he does want that?

(And gah, yes, the ageism. Especially given that the Doctor is like over nine thousand. But he's youngish looking. And a man. So it's OK.)

[furius.livejournal.com]

Genderswap was an entire episode in SGA. It was also many fanfics before it aired, of course. I think it's just an obvious seemingly-subversive point where TV sci-fi canon, or tie-in novels, tends to cross with fandom.

Was the Doctor mocking Donna's feminine wiles? I thought he was merely uncomfortable with the whole "wiles" part.

A question of ignorance: What's a PA?

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

*gasp*

Did you have a fight with Teh Cock? Are you not speaking? Why a whole week?

Oh, I'll be his PA. I'll start with locking him and his agent in a hotbox until we come to an understanding about the importance of WORK.

Well I for one can't wait to see this gender-swap story. I want to laugh my ass off. Seriously. You should see the size of my ass.

[tencrush]

Personal assistant. Yo, Gareth, I got some assistance for ya RIGHT HERE.

Hell, yeah.

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

Bless you, you have garnered the Truth. :-D

It shall set us free.

[glorfindelghost.livejournal.com]

Have I started a cult?

Excellent, thats one off the to-do list...

[louiex.livejournal.com]

I couldn't believe that synopsis for that book :D Honestly, I think I've read that fanfic a while back and it wasn't that good to begin with! The only body-swapping that should be allowed on TW is on screen body-swapping so the actors can vamp about pretending to be one another with much giggling glee.

Can you imagine it? Like, Tosh in Jack's body and Jack doing nothing but groping Tosh's fabulous bustline while the others freak out.

Did you read the other synopsis though? The one with Gwen on the cover with a Tiger like she's fresh out of a Vegas magic show has Ianto getting seriously injured 'while out on a date'. So not only do we get the fun h/c but there's the potential of seeing THE DATE... unless Ianto's a big player and has other sugar daddies on the side.

[sage-theory.livejournal.com]

Rusty's BLATANT AGEISM is starting to get RIGHT ON MY TITS.

INORITE?! He's basically been saying that over 30 = death of your sexuality/attractiveness/usefulness since Nine left. I think maybe CE was getting too old for him.

Which sucks because CE is a wily Northern LOVE GOD who is just now coming into his prime because I think he's going to be so fucking shaggable when he's turned 45 next year.

And the whole ageism thing really feeds into what you were saying earlier about being pissed that Jack apparently views his employees for sex toys.

I can't help but wondering if that's what the show was going for. Because, in a more sensible setting, with someone who's slightly less, um, Jack at the helm, wouldn't you recruit people who had lots of experience?

"Let's see, we've got this chick here. Fifteen years experience in law enforcement. Degree from Cambridge. Worked with the behavioral analysis unit. Several commendations for bravery...Oh, wait, here's a completely inexperienced doctor who just lost his fiancee. Yeah, but he's sexier and in his twenties. Sorry Lady Who Has Expertise and A Lot To Bring to the Table, but you need face lift and Owen's face is already so weird that nobody would know whether to lift it, lower it, or just take a lawnmower to it. Ciao!"

An entire team of twenty-somethings is retarded. I mean, REALLY retarded. No offense to twenty-somethings, but if I were going to basically start a team from scratch, I'd hire a bunch of REALLY experienced people who at least had a decade's worth of seeing weird shit and being in law enforcement/the military.

I would never in a million fucking years have hired some beat cop who followed me home. I still don't know what it was that Jack thought qualified Gwen. No, really.

Sounds to me like Rusty is fear his own middle-agedness and being a jackass about it.

I think Torchwood should be retitled: "Oh, fucking hell."


I use the icon because I haven't mentioned Gareth's COCK in at least a week. I'm going into withdrawal

I noticed and it worried me. The day you completely cease talking about Gareth's p33ner is when we'll know to send search-and-rescue.

[sage-theory.livejournal.com]

I love your icon long time.

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

Or an Owen-Ianto switch. Which would prove a bit... exhilarating for poor Owen. :-p

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

CE is a wily Northern LOVE GOD who is just now coming into his prime

OH FUCK YES! OH! YES! YES! YES! OH GOD YES! OH! OH! YES! OH GOD! OH GOD! YES!


He does things to me... things I wish he'd come and do to me in person.

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

No, love your icon longtime. I've seen it (so presumably you) around and gazed with pleasure. I love the contruction-papery background.

apiphile made these two. They crack my shit up.

[louiex.livejournal.com]

That would only be utterly hysterical to the point of pain if two things happened:

1-Jack was unawares and wanting some private coffee time

2-Owen was very slow on the uptake/not used to Jack's mastery of stripping clothes off in a short period of time

:D

[cionaudha.livejournal.com]

It is as though you have read my mind. :-D

And of course as we know from fanon, Ianto likes it rough, so Jack would be prepared for a struggle.

Oh yes, I already love this. It's eeeevil.

[nuptse.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling this book will be much like bad sugar free pie. It looks like it would be tasty, but then you take a bite and blleech, they took all the filth fun out of it. Yet your mind's still stuck in that YAY!PIE mode, but your mouth is going bleecchh.

'Cause genderswap without naughty bits = filthtease!

[louiex.livejournal.com]

And see that would be great to read but even better to watch! GDL channeling Burn's surly and unhappy Owen while not used to Ianto's lanky body.

Its evil, funny, and there'd be lots of walking into things :D

[baby-werewolf.livejournal.com]

Which sucks because CE is a wily Northern LOVE GOD who is just now coming into his prime because I think he's going to be so fucking shaggable when he's turned 45 next year.

I wouldn't go as far as love god, but he IS shaggable, and I say that as someone who will be 18 when he's 45...which is in itself something of an anti-ageism argument, I guess...

[nightspring.livejournal.com]

Exactly! What's the purpose of genderswap if not to have the character try out ALL possibilities of their new body? Silly book writer / publisher.

[nightspring.livejournal.com]

Would love to see GDL and Burn play each other -- bet they'd pull it off fantastically, too.

Also, I seem to recall having read a fic within the past month where Owen and Ianto does body-switch, and for some reason, I think because they are embarassed they've gotten themselves into that fix, they try to get by without letting anyone else know. And Jack catches on pretty early, but he plays along with them for a while, letting them get themselves into all kinds of knots trying to pretend to be each other. It was quite funny...