tencrush | Random thoughts on Who and TW

Yeah. So... Almost Perfect. The Torchwood novel. Seriously. Gender swap. I can't make longer sentences than this. Gender swap, seriously. Dudes. Honestly, gender swap? NO. I cannot even begin to explain on how many levels that's just a really, really bad idea. Why don't we just give the big gay show over ENTIRELY to 16-year-old fanfic writers, yeah? Because I'd be willing to bet that despite the hilarious premise, nobody gets FUCKED IN THE ASS in this book, and at least if we handed over to the ficcers, we'd have a guarantee that the novels would be full of FUCKING FILTH. Maybe not always filth of the highest calibre or believability, but pornography nonetheless. All the books would be about Jack and Ianto (the Time Lord) and would contain gratuitous rimming and hilariously bad things happening to Gwen. Actually, now that I start to think about it, all of that might not actually be that bad an idea. Forget I spoke. Fucking gender swap. Honestly, man. Kill me now.

Beckett LOVES The Doctor's Daughter and I think he fancies Jenny a bit. But then he asks me yesterday "Why did the guy from THE BOX SHOW shooted the daughter?" and it took me ages to work out what he was talking about. The box show is, of course, Deal or No Deal, and Beckett thinks Jenny was shot by Noel Edmonds.

And while I'm on The Doctor's Daughter, between Owen's 27-ness, the Doctor's refusal to take Mr. Copper along in VotD, 5 BILLION OTHER THINGS, and now the Doctor's DOWNRIGHT MOCKING of Donna's feminine wiles, Rusty's BLATANT AGEISM is starting to get RIGHT ON MY TITS. My thirtysomething, slightly deflated tits.

Oh yeah, and Gareth? DON'T say in interviews that you can't afford a PA unless you want EVEN MORE letters than you're already getting from lots of lovely ladies offering you their services for free. With a blowjob thrown in. Honestly. Silly boy.

I use the icon because I haven't mentioned Gareth's COCK in at least a week. I'm going into withdrawal.

That is all.

Rusty's BLATANT AGEISM is starting to get RIGHT ON MY TITS.

INORITE?! He's basically been saying that over 30 = death of your sexuality/attractiveness/usefulness since Nine left. I think maybe CE was getting too old for him.

Which sucks because CE is a wily Northern LOVE GOD who is just now coming into his prime because I think he's going to be so fucking shaggable when he's turned 45 next year.

And the whole ageism thing really feeds into what you were saying earlier about being pissed that Jack apparently views his employees for sex toys.

I can't help but wondering if that's what the show was going for. Because, in a more sensible setting, with someone who's slightly less, um, Jack at the helm, wouldn't you recruit people who had lots of experience?

"Let's see, we've got this chick here. Fifteen years experience in law enforcement. Degree from Cambridge. Worked with the behavioral analysis unit. Several commendations for bravery...Oh, wait, here's a completely inexperienced doctor who just lost his fiancee. Yeah, but he's sexier and in his twenties. Sorry Lady Who Has Expertise and A Lot To Bring to the Table, but you need face lift and Owen's face is already so weird that nobody would know whether to lift it, lower it, or just take a lawnmower to it. Ciao!"

An entire team of twenty-somethings is retarded. I mean, REALLY retarded. No offense to twenty-somethings, but if I were going to basically start a team from scratch, I'd hire a bunch of REALLY experienced people who at least had a decade's worth of seeing weird shit and being in law enforcement/the military.

I would never in a million fucking years have hired some beat cop who followed me home. I still don't know what it was that Jack thought qualified Gwen. No, really.

Sounds to me like Rusty is fear his own middle-agedness and being a jackass about it.

I think Torchwood should be retitled: "Oh, fucking hell."

I use the icon because I haven't mentioned Gareth's COCK in at least a week. I'm going into withdrawal

I noticed and it worried me. The day you completely cease talking about Gareth's p33ner is when we'll know to send search-and-rescue.

CE is a wily Northern LOVE GOD who is just now coming into his prime

OH FUCK YES! OH! YES! YES! YES! OH GOD YES! OH! OH! YES! OH GOD! OH GOD! YES!

He does things to me... things I wish he'd come and do to me in person.

Which sucks because CE is a wily Northern LOVE GOD who is just now coming into his prime because I think he's going to be so fucking shaggable when he's turned 45 next year.

I wouldn't go as far as love god, but he IS shaggable, and I say that as someone who will be 18 when he's 45...which is in itself something of an anti-ageism argument, I guess...

Dude, I know a cougar is a lady who likes her men on the young side...what do you call her opposite?

I like my meat well-aged and my wine to rest in the bottle a while. I have similar taste in men.

'Dude, I know a cougar is a lady who likes her men on the young side...what do you call her opposite?'
I think their called Kittens.

'I like my meat well-aged and my wine to rest in the bottle a while. I have similar taste in men.'

Would you mind if I put that on an icon. I too have a thing for older men *points to icon*

Go right ahead.

(Thinks happy thoughts of CE, Sean Connery, George Clooney, my thoroughly hot snowcapped former boss, etc, etc, etc)

Random thoughts on Who and TW

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