TORCHWOOD: RECAP TAIM NAO

[tencrush]

I decided to do a screencap recap of From Out of the Rain, just to see if I could remember any of the plot. Which I couldn't. Here is what I THINK happened, based one my ONE viewing of the episode, helpfully illustrated with screencaps, courtesy of marishna.

*spooky music happens* Jack: "Ianto?? Where the fuck is Ianto, why isn't he here, he's ALWAYS HERE. He needs to be here, spooky stuff is happening and also I need a... hand... with something."

Ianto: *finally throws in some evidence he wasn't GROWN IN A VAT* *technobabbles* "... so you see, Gwen, I have it on good authority it's not really going to be spooky so much as just slightly disconcerting and a little bit shit. I thought I'd liven things up by being cuter than I've been in a while, and also by being just a little bit geeky. For the fangirls."

Ianto: "Are you stalking me, Jack? And what's with the imagery?" Jack: *thinks* "Didn't you catch the bouquet last episode?"

Ianto: "I might have done, Jack. But don't go getting any silly ideas into your head, I'm not that easy... Jack? Oh. Right."

Mermaidlady: "CAN WE DOES PLOT NAO???" *explains plot* *at length*

Ianto: *doesn't quite catch all of the plot* "Jack? Can we has group meeting? Discuss plot?" *finally gets the furrowed brow down to an art form* *for the fangirls*

Jack: "OH HAI GUYS, plot meeting!" *explains plot* *at length* "... and I was a carnie once, so you know, LOL!"

Ianto: "Jack... I didn't get any of that could we discuss plot again?" *loses the capacity for sexual innuendo that he's been so fond of lately* "... in private?"

Jack: *spooky look* *fails to make spooky look look meaningful or suggestive* "... damn."

Ianto: "So, now what... shall we watch some porn or something?"

Jack: "Sometimes I really think you only want me for my magical cock, Yan. We're supposed to be discussing plot."

Ianto: *thinks* "OK, then. So they're trapped on film, there's a flask involved, and what was the other thing...?"

Jack: "They're allergic to pies."

Ianto: *thinks* "Pies. Right. So, if we were to throw pies at them..."

Jack: *jumps to INSANE CONCLUSION* "They'd die, yes. We should totally throw pies at them, that sounds like a good plan."

Ianto: "Thank you. You do realise I might eat the pies, yes?"

Jack: *thinks* "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, pie-boy."

Mermaidlady: "PLOTTAIMNAO!!" *does plot whilst also EXPLAINING PLOT for those of us who haven't been paying attention*

Jack: "They could be off DOING PLOT right now, Ianto, and you're still sitting here thinking about pies."

Ianto: "Sorry. I just... talking about pies really makes me want to stick something in my mouth."

Ianto: *worries* "Hang on, wasn't that line about the mouth and stuff supposed to come off as kind of suggestive and/or kinky?"

Jack: "We have no sexual tension today, Yan. Do keep up."

Spookypeople: *DO PLOT and attempt to look menacing*

Ianto: "Right. I'm here. Where's the pies?"

Jack: "Change of plan. I thought we might do something in the back row of a cinema instead." Ianto: "Talking to you is really weird when there's no double entendres. WE'RE IN THE BACK ROW, JACK! FOR FUCK'S SAKE SNAP OUT OF IT! SAY SOMETHING DIRTY!!"

Jack: *RUNS OFF AND OVERACTS INSTEAD*

Ianto: *runs off, finally understanding the plot* *emoes at a bottle* "Hello? I need to speak to Chris Chibnall... is he in there?"

Ianto: *gives up on plot and emoes at small boy* "Can we keep him, Jack? Can we get a house and a mortgage and and and... Marry me, Captain!"

Jack: "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of that stuff in the hospital." Ianto: "That's probably wise, I went a bit Rose Tyler on your ass there." Jack: "Nice ass, by the way. Fangirls'll love it. Sextaim?" Ianto: *inexplicably disappears to pie shop instead*

*spooky music* DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!!!

Is that about right?