While I agree with you, and I don't think TW should be used to promote any sort of relationship, I do think that, as you and others have said, there's quite an underlying jokey feel about the way Jack/Ianto is portrayed on screen, and some of that does border on the homophobic. And for a show that touts itself as being so progressive, I think they've missed a trick by not counteracting that homophobia with one or two overt signs of there being more to Jack/Ianto than sex. And like you say, a Jack/Ianto scene in EW would have fixed that and would have only taken a few seconds.
I slag off TPTB a lot, I know, but funnily enough I firmly believe a J/I scene in EW was planned or even shot and cut, simply because I find it hard to believe that someone somewhere didn't have at least the artistic vision to think that it would be a nice mirroring of the two main relationships to show Jack and Ianto offering each other comfort in whatever shape it is that that would take, and thereby show the audience the ways in which the Jack/Ianto relationship differs from the Gwen/Rhys one, but also the ways in which it is fundamentally the same.
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I slag off TPTB a lot, I know, but funnily enough I firmly believe a J/I scene in EW was planned or even shot and cut, simply because I find it hard to believe that someone somewhere didn't have at least the artistic vision to think that it would be a nice mirroring of the two main relationships to show Jack and Ianto offering each other comfort in whatever shape it is that that would take, and thereby show the audience the ways in which the Jack/Ianto relationship differs from the Gwen/Rhys one, but also the ways in which it is fundamentally the same.