I don't think I agree about the holes! I have a lot of friends who love TW, but don't do the spoddy overthinking thing in the way I do. They simply adore Jack and Ianto for the most part, and varied opinions of the others. None of this stuff really occurs to them, and it may be that they all have their own way of looking at Jack, but it doesn't bother them. I genuinely think this is what the producers/writers would expect. I also think it is fairly common in British drama. Not so in US stuff, where I usually forget to watch I get so fed up with everything being spelled out.

My only caveat to that would be the odd Gwen/Jack dynamic, which does confuse people. I totally agree that has been badly done and is open to interpretation.