I blame this entire thing on how the show has been structured, specifically the decision to basically make Gwen the main character. I couldn't believe in the Fragment's Declassified when Chris said that Jack has been waiting for Gwen for 100 years. I mean, seriously? She'd have to discover the cure for cancer to be able to live up to that hype. Gwen is a perfectly nice normal girl and if she was treated like a perfectly nice normal girl in the show, there wouldn't be a problem. Instead, for some reason, it was decided that she has to be superagent!Gwen, who's completely comfortable with her job from Day One and the only one Jack confides in and the "heart" of the team. Which means she can never be called to task for the mistakes she makes, like letting lose a sex alien that kills 8+ innocent men or cheating on her live-in boyfriend and then giving him retcon and /demanding/ that he forgive her, which quite frankly starts to make her look appalling to any viewer that just thinks for a moment. Add that on top of the fact that every male except Ianto is apparently half in love with her, and the show becomes really skewed.

Torchwood should have been more like Spooks/MI-5, in which all the characters are treated roughly evenly (though obviously Jack would get more attention). Then, Ianto, Tosh and Owen would have taken some of the B plots from Gwen which would have given them time to shine the spotlight on the other characters who are just as important to Torchwood and we wouldn't have this ambiguity with Jack/Ianto.

Also, a feature of Spooks that would have served Torchwood well was the fear that any of them could go at any minute. But you know Gwen is protected by authorial fiat because Jack's been waiting for her for 100 freaking years.

I realize that this is only tangentially related your post, but it's what I thought of first.