Good Lord, that's never even occurred to me. How shit am I?

The lack of continuity/sensibility from one episode to the next really bugs me in Torchwood. (I have it on good authority that the show lacks a writer's "Bible", which probably accounts for the uneven characterization and lack of depth.)

this episode also being the one that cemented my theory that Ianto's family are all dead

Oh definitely.
I get the impression that Ianto has very little to lose. That makes him delightfully dangerous.