Jack comes across as unbelievably thoughtless mooning at Gwen in front of Ianto. Plus, as I've seen pointed out on other discussions and comments on the topic, if Jack wanted Gwen, he could have her. He just has to reach out and grab. Gwen's whiny, no-one'd have me spiel and I love yous, make it pretty obvious she'd jump at the chance. She doesn't exactly seem to have a problem with infidelity and Jack seemingly, has no problems treating Ianto like crap. Not only is the endless love and sexual chemistry not that convincing, but the not acting on it isn't either.
WRT people having less problems with the way Jack / Ianto is portrayed if Jack / Gwen weren't there. Yes we wouldn't have the thoughtless prick moments but also, I suspect, people would take a more positive view of the sexual innuendo and flippancy. They might feel the relationship is a bit coy in the portrayal, or a bit more depth might be nice, but jokes about inside leg measurements are more likely to be viewed as a light moment between a couple. Jack's immortality / lead / Doctor Who character status more likely to be considered a reason why you don't get as much depth or focus on Jack / Ianto as say Rhys / Gwen. Put the relationship, as portrayed, against, "Oh my God. If you left, Gwen, my life would be over", moments, by contrast, it looks crap. Reasons for not showing the Jack having strong feelings for Ianto stop applying, if he can moon over Gwen, then there's no reason not to moon over Ianto.
I could believe Ianto as being reasonably happy with the relationship without the Jack / Gwen mooning being there. With it there and so obvious, it's just WTF? I could believe he might put up with it (at least for a while), but that he's not pissed off and miserable about it? No way. In KKBB he seems to have a jealous streak a mile wide.
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WRT people having less problems with the way Jack / Ianto is portrayed if Jack / Gwen weren't there. Yes we wouldn't have the thoughtless prick moments but also, I suspect, people would take a more positive view of the sexual innuendo and flippancy. They might feel the relationship is a bit coy in the portrayal, or a bit more depth might be nice, but jokes about inside leg measurements are more likely to be viewed as a light moment between a couple. Jack's immortality / lead / Doctor Who character status more likely to be considered a reason why you don't get as much depth or focus on Jack / Ianto as say Rhys / Gwen. Put the relationship, as portrayed, against, "Oh my God. If you left, Gwen, my life would be over", moments, by contrast, it looks crap. Reasons for not showing the Jack having strong feelings for Ianto stop applying, if he can moon over Gwen, then there's no reason not to moon over Ianto.
I could believe Ianto as being reasonably happy with the relationship without the Jack / Gwen mooning being there. With it there and so obvious, it's just WTF? I could believe he might put up with it (at least for a while), but that he's not pissed off and miserable about it? No way. In KKBB he seems to have a jealous streak a mile wide.