If you buy that Jack does in fact have the same depth and kind of feelings for Ianto as he does for him, then there is none. My interpretation is that Ianto's feelings are much deeper, from the coat sniffin' to the desk kissin' and the "You" crying. If so, it's exploitation, Jack carrying on regardless of Ianto's needs and feelings.

Really, though, there's so many inconsistencies and such little evidence, I don't have a problem with others taking a different perspective. If you think the boys are on equal ground, I'm jealous: You probably are enjoying the series much more than myself right about now.