I never bought that that was the characterisation they wanted for the "hero" of Torchwood, but apparently it was. I let a lot of people attempt to convince me that there was more depth to Jack/Ianto than we were seeing on screen, primarily because the Ianto thing bothered me because Jack was his boss, I find the boss/subordinate thing really quite squicky in and of itself, doubly so with Jack because he's less emotionally involved than the subordinate in question. If he hadn't been Ianto's boss, the whole thing wouldn't really have bugged me one way or the other.

Regarding Doctor Who, I really would have preferred that scene to have not involved a human man, but something from the "other" category.