"An ugly dog! As opposed to, say, a sexually desirable poodle!"

... come to think of it, it would be a fun twist if Ianto's mayfly status (as both mortal and doomed Torchwoob) is what eventually makes Jack commit to him. They don't have long, better make the best of it.

(I wonder if Alice's mum is the bride in the photo from The Bride Is Packing Something Borrowed?)