My question, really, is, are these general slash things

Definitely general slash things - everything you've said here is common to every slash fandom I've ever read in, and I've read in a lot. It's also probably the reason that, although I'm still a big slasher, I rarely read fic these days, and when I do, I tend to skip the sex, unless the author's convinced me she's going to bring something different to the party.