I prefer lube to be mentioned myself-- or at least something to indicate that they're preparing for penetration in some way. But I agree completely about the other two, and you're quite right that things other than anal sex should be explored (and I'm rather guilty of writing anal in the last two fics that I've written, although niether has been posted yet-- and in my defense, Ianto was the top in both of them).

Another thing that bothers me is that oral sex in TW is almost always deep-throating. Now, I can buy that Jack is probably capable of that, given that he's done just about everything, but even so, he wouldn't necessarily do it every time (particularly not when he isn't in a position to get his mouth and throat in a straight line), and besides that, I just don't find it that sexy-- my gag reflex starts acting up just reading about it! :P