I don't really know the answers to your questions either BUT, take for example, lesbian sex. Het men think lesbian sex is solely comprised of rug-munching and strap-ons. The reality is completely different. "The L-Word" series threw my husband for a loop; he was very surprised at how differently sex was depicted on that show versus what he sees in porn. And while The L Word is still a TV show and exaggerated in some ways, it's far more accurate than what you would see in "lesbian" porn since heterosexual men usually write the scripts for lesbian porn (although I use the term "scripts" and "lesbian" loosely in that case.).

So... I'm guessing, having never been a gay man myself, these slash fics are probably slightly off the mark at the very least since most are written by fangirls. Yeah.

Personally, I'm voting for more Janto frottage. *nods and raises hand*