tencrush: (do not want)
I will downloads it for you! You loves that wacky show.

I'm finding it very hard to explain, both on this here internets and at home, all the reasons why I'm not interested in Torchwood: Miracle Day. And I don't like pissing in people's chips, either, so I'm not going to rant and rave about how much I don't care about watching it, the truth is I don't really care enough either way to even be vehement about it, and if it gets downloaded for me (lol, seriously, I still don't know how that torrent shizzle works, I am ignorant in these matters and just write things on post its and stick them to his screen), I'll probably give it a go. My main problem at the moment is that all the things that people are now, having seen screeners and such, so very excited about, sound awful to me. Seriously, the more I hear about it, the worse it sounds. But that's just me and YMMV and such.

But, I am the Torchwood prophet, of course, so here's your 100% God's honest TRUTH, it's not even a hunch or prediction, this one, but I guess you could call it spoilers, what with it being an ACTUAL THING THAT WILL HAPPEN, and it's this:


Also, I am becoming increasingly worried that the whole Amy/Rory/Melody storyline in Who will be handwaved away entirely, and was, in fact, resolved when River said that stuff about the Doctor finding her and taking care of her and not to worry about it. Am I alone in this?
tencrush: (iantobutton)
Look, TV GUIDE agrees with me that it's legit. How many times do I have to do an I-told-you-so dance before you people get it? Sheesh.

ANYWAYS, though, my point in posting:

tencrush: (ianto pie)
It's not just that I wouldn't put this sort of thing past Russell, I mean, you know I have a pretty low opinion of the guy, but aside from that fact, I totally think the TW character breakdown is legit. You may feel free to disagree with me, and there's no way we'll know for ages, probably, but for the record, I am on the FOR REALS team. Mark my words. Is real. I'm just saying that now so I can link back to it in 2011 or whenever and point at the pedo thing and laugh.
tencrush: (do not want)
But how naive are you guys? The show's not going to be about Jack OR Gwen. So stop wanking on about Gwenwood, because it's not happening. Nor is Jackwood.

They will be in it a few times. That's it. It's nothing to do with S1-2 or CoE. And no, there's no Alonso. Duh.

You know that thing thay did with JD and Turkleton? It'll be like that. Except with RTD running the show, so no lols like S1 and 2, but gratuitous kiddie snuff porn instead. I'll pass.


Nov. 15th, 2009 09:25 am
tencrush: (do not want)
I went to post a comment somewhere and found I'd been banned from someone's journal. I've never been banned from anyone's journal before, and I quite like the person in question and don't recall ever having had a disagreement with them of any kind. Random defriendings by people who I thought were my actual friends I can deal with, but banning? Wow. Ouch.

Speaking of which, this is kind of where I am at the moment:
  • There's not a lot of joy for me left in Whovian fandom. I'll probably post something later about how much I hated Waters of Mars. I have no desire to watch anything RTD has produced or DT stars in, and I am only just managing to hold on to a scrap of enthusiasm for when Moffat and Smith come in. I hate Russell, I hate everything he's ever written, I think he's awful. His insistence on bringing all this emotional manpain and trauma into these shows that used to just be a joyful experience for me and, in the case of Who, for my kids, has ruined my fannish experience. I want the last three years of my life back, I wish I'd never started watching Torchwood, I wish I'd stopped watching Who. I don't need television that pisses me off and makes me sad, that's not what I watch television for. Fuck you Russell, I hope LA chews you up and spits you out and fucks you in the ass with a pointy stick.

  • Ianto did make me happy for quite a few years, which is why I'm working on a last epic picspam of my favourite teaboy doing shit. I hope to have it done in a week or two.

  • I'm also working on something of a personal project celebrating Torchwood Series One and Two, which I hope to tell you more about in the coming weeks. Or maybe I'll just abandon it.

  • I was hoping to do a Christmas push on the Ianto Jones Wants a Pony campaign, but the Lluest Horse and Pony Trust's continued inability to update me is starting to annoy me a bit, so maybe I'll leave it. After Christmas, I'm done promoting it because I think I've done enough. I'll leave it up, of course.

  • Any takers for [livejournal.com profile] ninja_teaboy may give me shout here or in PM. I'm putting it up for adoption per January 1st. If there's no-one interested, I'll close it down.

  • Oh, in case you were wondering, no. If there is a new series of Torchwood, I won't be watching it, as I don't really like Gwen, or Jack. I liked Tosh and Ianto and I quite enjoyed disliking Owen. I liked Ianto, I liked Tosh, I liked the Hub, the embossed SUV, the pteranodon, the old ladies, the poodles, the victorian lesbianism, the cyberbikinis and that stupid fucking invisible lift. In fact, I loved all those things. Apparently I loved those things far too much. Those things are all gone, so there's nothing for me to come back to. Not that there will be a new series.

  • It's been really fun, people, but if you've friended me for Torchwood content, please, feel free to defriend me in the coming weeks, I won't be offended. I am completely spent. Done. Thanks, Rusty.

tencrush: (do not want)
I still hold out a tiny bit of hope that I'm wrong in saying that thing I've been saying for the past six months, but then Amazon starts advertising this really quite spoilerrific Torchwood soundtrack and I get all down again. ETA: Spoilery speculation )

I really hope it isn't true, but if it is I will say I told you so for ever and ever.

Through my tears, obviously.

tencrush: (do not want)
Why does shit always go down in a week when I leave the country?


tencrush: (twplot)

  • In defense of me... First of all, I love how when I post something about Barrowman, it never gets linked in the [livejournal.com profile] torchwood_three newsletter, because it'll usually be about me thinking he's a bit of a dick. The Barrowmafia is strong. Not that I give a rat's arse, it's just something I've noticed.

  • Secondly, I've noticed that the extreme Barrowman love tends to come from Americans. I find that interesting from a sociological perspective, and I can understand where that comes from. A lot of American fans seem to find his out-and-out outness and happy-go-lucky lifestyle refreshingly different. As a European, I find it a mite tedious, and slightly overly perky and, indeed, American. I get outness on my telly and in my parliament and my newspapers and everywhere else on a daily basis, and as soon as you start going OTT with that outness, it strikes me as being a calculated exploitation of one's sexuality, which I associate with camp light entertainers and panto stars like Paul O'Grady and Julian Clary. But then, that's what Barrowman is. And the US doesn't really have Graham Nortons and Paul O'Gradys, and it certainly doesn't have that not-in-your-face outness of politicians and newspeople and actors and whoever that I take for granted over here, so I guess Barrowman is refreshing to a lot of Americans (As an aside, whatever happened to those uber-camp light entertainers I seem to recall the US having back in the seventies and eighties on things like Hollywood Squares and The Love Boat? Did they disappear into the woodwork out when AIDS hit? Did it cease being funny to be stereotypically gay? Were those guys ever really accepted as being gay by mainstream America, or were they just point-and-laugh funny because they acted gay? And why can't I remember any of their names?) But yeah, anyway, I can see why people think he's cool, and seriously, if you love the guy, go for it. There are far worse people on this earth to love, and apart from anything else, I don't think the man has a nasty bone in his body. Apart from the bone that would probably make a joke about the phrase "nasty bone", and that bone's just crude, but not nasty. And if he's got just one Torchwood fan who's never really been in contact with homosexuality and never known anyone who's gay and never really thought about it, to realise that it's okay to be gay and the world isn't going to end because two guys shack up and get a couple of gay dogs and move into your neighbourhood, then that's a great thing, because that's how it works. Go Barrowmanfans, go forth and be happy, I have nothing against you. I just think he's a bit of a dick. But that's just me.

  • A specific defense of me, not that I've been named, but I can read between the lines, I never claimed that Barrowman has corrupted the virginal GDL and turned him into a waving-his-cock-in-your-face-type monster. Though I did say something along those lines here once that may have been construed that way. Gareth David-Lloyd is a 27-year-old man and I fully believe that he, like most 27-year-olds, will happily and drunkenly wave his cock in anyone's face, stick it down anyone's throat and possibly even try to stick things up it for a bet just like any healthy boy his age, without the need of ANY encouragement from anyone else. What I DID say was in conjunction with all the hullabaloo surrounding the Hub convention, and it was that I think Barrowman, who's been around a bit and is, let's face it a lot older and presumably wiser, has been a bad influence on convention n00bs like Gareth and Naoko, not in inciting bad behaviour, but in giving the impression that this sort of behaviour is perfectly acceptable. None of that would have been an issue for me were it not for the fact that after that particular convention, vibes were being spread around the interwebs that What Happened At The Hub Should Stay At The Hub, and the impression was given that the actors' behaviour at said convention somehow wasn't palatable for the general public. And in that respect I'm probably just too much of an old woman, and more forgiving of the youngsters, in as much as I think Barrowman really is old enough to know better, and the reason I singled out Barrowman specifically, is because those vibes I mentioned were reported to be coming from him solely, and not from anyone else, which I found hypocritical of someone who so eagerly encourages the crudeness in others. In retrospect, like I've said before, I may have misread the fact that JB specifically didn't want his behaviour getting out. Not being a huge fan of his, I kind of misinterpreted some of the uberBarrowmanettes' tone of "JOHN TALKED TO US OMG I TALKED TO JOHN!!" as "JOHN is the one, out of all of them, who specifically felt this way", simply because that first interpretation doesn't really impress me and therefore I kind of just read over it and went straight for the second. But yeah, that's why I went for John. Make of it what you will.

  • Oh, and dudes, I've never claimed that Jack is a subby little bottom. I do, frequently claim Ianto is a dommy little top, which is a hangover from my glee at being proven right in my assertion, all that time ago, that Ianto was a manwhore who pulled the wool over Jack's eyes re. Lisa by distracting him with sex, but I've never once stated that that implies Jack is a subby little bottom. I really should stop reading the anonymeme, I know. I can't help myself.


  • Oh yes, and when Torchwood is axed, everyone will blame Moffat. Everyone from now on will blame Moffat for EVERYTHING. It's got nothing to do with Moffat, though I do believe Moffat wants nothing to do with Torchwood, but that in itself would not be an adequate reason for the BBC to axe the show. The hate for Moffat is strong, and it's completely unfounded, and it's only going to get worse and worse and worse. I weep for this fandom, I really do. I still love you, Steven.

As you were.

tencrush: (iantobutton)
I've got a few random predictions floating around my head, so I thought I'd spew them out here for posterity. They're based on absolutely nothing, apart from vague gut feelings.

  • Moffat's Who will have TWO companions. Boy/girl. Mainly because Moffat can't resist being a bit different and can't help injecting a bit of sitcom-esque bitching and UST into the TARDIS, which, having logically taken the Doctor-has-a-penis thing to its zenith, would have to involve two other people. Moffat's great strength is writing for multiple characters, he needs various personalities to bounce around and I am nearly 100% certain about this prediction.

  • The girl will be a Sally Sparrow-esque capable mix of clever and ballsy and cute, I wouldn't actually rule out Sally Sparrow herself, just because Moffat's a joker like that. The boy will be Ianto. Okay, so that last bit's about 80% wishful thinking, but I'm not ruling it out completely because I'm just... not.

  • Jack will leave Torchwood at the end of TW series 3. This ties in with my prediction that Jack and Ianto will split up during series 3, but possibly for reasons you're not expecting. John is actually leaving Torchwood behind, but I have a hunch he features in one of the three Who specials, as I believe Jack's story will be tied up BEFORE the eventual regeneration. I don't believe Jack will ever interact with Eleven.

  • Taking all those things together, yeah, Torchwood as we know it is coming to an end after series 3. I don't actually believe anyone is interested in taking the show any further, specifically I don't believe John or Eve are interested in doing another series, and I think retooling it is NOT actually an option. This whole idea of a family-friendly show called "Torchwood" in the BBC's early saturday evening slot is NOT going to happen, the BBC would be far too nervous about leading the kiddies it's aimed at astray when they innocently ask Santa for the series one and two dvd's for Christmas. It's not happening. Torchwood will be disbanded at the end of series three, the Hub, blowed up and revealed to the world, will stay blowed up. ETA Again: the possibility of a BBC1 post-watershed thing is still there, yes, but I'll wait and see if Bonekickers gets recomissioned to see if Beeb1 is really aiming for a prime time LOLDrama slot, and even if they ARE doing so, that would involve, like Bonekickers, a 6-episode run, 8 at best, and I don't think Barrowman would be willing to sign for that short a series.

  • That's it. That's my view of where this is going. I have these urges sometimes to just post things up so I can point at them later and tell people I was right, and this is one of those times. Don't take it as anything more than that. And no, I don't know any more than you do about anything at all.

    • I wasn't going to put this in because I thought it was too weird, but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes, and because [livejournal.com profile] dick_grayson seems to be on a frighteningly similar wavelength, I'm going to go for: Voluntary retconning for Ianto at the end of TW series 3. For some reason or other to do with his family. It just seems to sit right for me somehow, and I think it's when we'll finally find out what's going on with him and Jack and to what extent. The reason I didn't want to put it in is because it's eerily similar to Donna's story in Who S4, and I figured it didn't make sense to do that again, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that sort of thing hasn't exactly stopped them before. The reason I think it might happen is because it's a good way to put Ianto on ice as a character, but not rule out a possible return somewhere in the franchise at some point in time. So, yeah, I'm definitely putting this one in. That is my S3 ending prediction.

tencrush: (twplot)
I'd like to refer the right honourable viewing public to a poll I created in [livejournal.com profile] torchwoodcoffee 15 months ago HERE.

And, the results of said poll, and my ramblings about WHY EVERYONE WHO VOTED IN SAID POLL WAS TOTALLY WRONG, HERE.

*preemptively does the TOLD YOU SO dance*

Seriously. Watch this space. They totally DONE IT well before Cyberwoman, and I think we all know there was an Agenda.

tencrush: (Default)
Yeah, so the spoilers for episode 12 of Torchwood. As I've said before, I wank on about Jack/Ianto at the moment, mostly because I believe all the issues I have with their relationship will be fixed in the runup to 13, so it's best to get all the wank out now. And I'm predicting that 13 will contain some sort of Jack-Ianto reverse Adam scenario, with possibly everyone thinking Jack done something Really Bad. Or something.

But yeah, those spoilers, I'm going to do it again:


I can't remember the last time I typed that word in regards to Ianto, but you'll all SO BE KISSING MY FEET when it turns out I was right all along.


Truthfully, I really can't actually remember when I last typed those words in RLY BIG LETTERS and I can't for the life of me find them which reminds me that I really must go along and tag all my entries properly and goddammit why didn't I do that all along??

I will do that in the coming week or so.


tencrush: (Default)

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