tencrush: (jackanto subtext)
LOLOL. Your inability to grasp the relatively simple concept of "aspect ratio" tells me a lot about you, and indeed about the quality of your fic. So much so, I don't even need to read it.

I once got someone on the OG all butthurt when I remarked that their otherwise lovely offer to screencap Torchwood episodes for people was marred by the fact that their caps were 4:3 and everyone was just a bit stretchy. C'est la vie.


YOU shouldn't be allowed near the internet, or a word processing program. Your epic Mary Sue fic should be taken out and shot. Your icon says more about you than you probably will admit to, but God, it makes me laugh. EVERY TIME. (As a bonus, I have animation turned off on my playstation, so this is invariably the only frame I see of this animated icon. It's funnier like this, trust me.)

Names left out to protect the innocent. Tiem to defriend [livejournal.com profile] torchwoodcoffee nao, Y/N?

See? Bitching, it's the new black.

tencrush: (thud)
Random questions that have been on my mind lately:

  • Why do fanfic writers write to prompts and challenges and such? If you need a prompt, isn't that already a basic signal that there's something up with your creative juices? (I'm not being shitty here, I genuinely want to know why people do this.) Also, am I the only person who more or less assumes, upon reading the words "prompt table" that a fic will be on the mediocre-to-shite end of the spectrum? Also, why do people throw "plot bunnies" at each other? If you couldn't write it yourself, isn't that more or less a hint that the idea, in and of itself, doesn't have legs? And why are they called "plot bunnies" and am I the only peron who reads those two words and wants to kill?

  • Who are the Jantomafia? Where do they hang out? I hear talk of them a lot. Are they like the Barrowmafia? I mean, I know I've met one or two people who are quite vehemently pro-Jack/Ianto (I can't even bring myself to write the smooshphrase more than once), but would those people automatically be in said mafia? Or is there like a membership thing? Am I on their shitlist for saying I think it would be a logical progression for the characters and make for more interesting telvision if they split up? Do they even have a shitlist? No, seriously, where do they hang out?

  • Spoiler for Torchwood? )

  • Part of me kind of likes [livejournal.com profile] theemptywriter, first of all because I think it's good that people get all this anti-Moffat sentiment out now, years before his episodes hit the screen, and I know the whole thing will run out of steam by then. Secondly because I love watching five people constantly telling each other how right they are to hate someone for no real reason. And also because they're all twelve. And love Rose. There's something really cute about them that makes me want to pinch their cheeks and punch them in the face in equal measure.

  • I want to pimp [livejournal.com profile] ninja_teaboy around the houses again, but I don't really have a legitimate reason for doing so. I'd issue a fic challenge if it weren't for point one up there. And, really, I'm wondering if perhaps less is more when it comes to membership. But on the other hand, I've read some good stuff that I'd love people to post there, but I've been too busy to comment and say "Hey! Bring this over to my pool, I like it." Am torn. Need quality input. Have no idea how to achieve it. Grrr.

  • Shitty photomanips are shitty. Maybe I should take up making them myself? Just for luls? If I did, would people come into my journal and go "Whew! Hawt!!!" Because otherwise I'm not doing it.
tencrush: (iantobutton)
God, I have an incredible urge to take a random sampling of Jack/Ianto fanfic and work out the ratio of Jack versus Ianto as to who takes it up the arse. But where would I take a random sampling from? And, mostly, it would only depress me because I think that if I did it, I'd probably prove that, despite canonical evidence to the contrary, Ianto is invariably the crying, helpless, penetrated wife.

I did that thing once where I worked out how many and what sorts of orgasms Rose had in Ten/Rose fic. I think I left it on my work computer, though. I'm sad about that. They were magical and plentiful and vaginal and reading 50 Ten/Rose fics in a day put me off fic for about a year. Which was a bonus.
tencrush: (Default)
Finally sporked a Torchwood fic I'd been meaning to spork for about two months now over on [livejournal.com profile] badfic_quotes. Again, this is why I normally don't read fic. I just can't take the badfic, no matter how good the goodfic may be.
tencrush: (pr0n)
I wroted the porn with the line about Rose's penis.

It are here )

Someone please kill me.


tencrush: (Default)

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